Short Splinters

Common problems

1. Word Choice. Failure to select the most appropriate word made prose confusing, ineffective, and sometimes actively misleading. I marked some, and indicated others by sentence's unsatisfactory performance.
2. Lack of real characters as subjects. Many sentences died before the verb because subject was a "nonentity." As bad were those where subject was so long that reader quit waiting for verb. In both cases, new material never had a chance to be noticed.
3. Grammar problems. All over the map. To my surprise the dangling participle is alive and well. I keep hoping HS teachers and the first two writing courses will eradicate it. See below.

Dangling Participle (DP)

From an example this quarter, I have changed all nouns/verbs to protect the guilty.

Watching the car's speed an accident occurred.

And it wouldn't be any better if last verb were "avoided." In neither case would reader know who is watching (or not watching). Note that it doesn't get any better with

Watching the car's speed, the oncoming car kills its driver.

More details can be found at Mark Damen. Please note last two paragraphs that focus on two bad actors in scientific prose.

Standard typos and such

• Number and accompanying unit. View the number as an adjective; then you will insert a space as in 3 min, and not 3min.
• Captalizing elements and their abbreviations. Unless the first word in the sentence, elements are lower case; abbreviations have first letter capitalized. Write silicon for element and Si for abbreviation.
  The font style of abreviations is normal, not italic; thus Mg₂SiO₄, not Mg₂SiO₄ nor Mg₂SiO₄.
• Use emphasis sparingly. When using italics or bold face or underline,
  1. Use only one form at a time. Use one emphasis is o.k., but use many emphases and use many emphases are not.
  2. Use sparingly, no more than a few words, not whole lines or paragraphs. To do so is like screaming. Done in short bursts it might be effective; if you persist for minute or more, most will think you have lost control (and you have).