This is a really long list. I've divided it into sections. There are a lot of sections.
"When I'm around a boy I like its hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or... at all... I can usually make a few vowel sounds and then I have to go away."
Willow, in the premiere episode
"I laugh in the face of danger. Then, I hide until it goes away."
Xander
"I'm sorry about how all this ended up... with me shooting you and all."
"It's okay. I'm sorry I almost ate you."
"It's okay."
Willow and Oz; "Phases"
"Is my head big? It feels big..."
"No, it's head-sized."
Willow and Oz, upon her awakening from a coma
"There are things I will not tolerate. Students loitering on campus after school. Horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also, smoking."
Principal Snyder
"Ooh, I can help. Chemistry's easy. It's a lot like witchcraft, only... less newt..."
Willow
"The band. They're great. They march."
"Like an army... except with music instead of bullets. And... usually no one dies?"
Xander and Willow
"This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet."
Principal Snyder opening the graduation ceremony
"He is ludicrous and far too breakable."
Olaf the Troll, referring to Xander
"Your menacing stance is merely mildly alarming!"
Anya's attempt to distract Olaf the Troll
"Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, Giles."
"It's sort of an end to itself..."
Buffy and Giles
"You are strange and off-putting. Go now."
Dracula to the just-enthralled Xander
"Where is he? Where's the creep that turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch? Dammit... you know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy that eats insects and gets the funny syphalis. As of this moment, it's over. I am finished being everybody's butt monkey!"
Xander, after being de-enthralled
"Ah, Mort, I trust you made our guest comfortable?"
"...you told me to chain her to a wall."
"Yeah. I know... I was being, like, sarcastic or whatever."
Vamp Harmony and her minion, Mort
"I go online sometimes! But... everyone's spelling is really bad... It's depressing."
Tara; "I Was Made To Love You"
"Somebody here isn't real, and I suspect it's you."
Fred, a little loopy, addressing Angel
"So, how you doing?"
"Oh... fizzy. Kind of weird and fizzy. But excited. A little sad. Thankful. Sort of cautiously happy. Relieved and worried at the same time, slightly nauseous, while still being hopeful."
Angel and Fred, upon Angel returning her safely to LA after she had spent years living alone in a hell dimension
"Mind if I join you?"
"On many levels and with great intensity."
Liza and Wesley
"What, I'm not allowed to hit people?"
"Not people capable of genocide."
"Those are exactly the people I should be allowed to hit!"
Angel and Wes
Angela: "See there's thinking about him, right? Which is what I do. All the time, like this..."
Rickie: "...obsession."
Rayanne: "Right. So?"
Angela: "So, it keeps me going or something. Like I need it just to get through the day. It... it's just..."
Rickie: "It's an obsession."
Angela: "Right. And if you make it real, it's not the same... It's not yours anymore."
from "Dancing in the Dark", Angela explaining why she didn't want to make a move towards her crush, Jordan Catalano
I have to say, when my father warms something up, it tastes better than when anyone else does.
Angela's voiceover; "Dancing in the Dark"
"It's okay to like someone. But I mean... boys, your age... can sometimes --"
"Dad, I know. [A moment passes.] ...can sometimes what?"
"Can sometimes... not know how to be... what you want them to be. My point is that, um, it's really hard to figure out how to be a man. Practically every man I know is still working on it."
Graham/Dad and Angela; "Dancing in the Dark"
"Actually, he's a pretty coool guy."
"Cool? Cool is not what substitues are. Substitutes have last names that are hard to pronounce and bad haircuts."
"Well, this substitute is cool."
"Maybe he's not a substitute... Maybe he's a NARC."
Patti and Grahm; "The Substitute"
"I know I've been taling a lot about him. But he's... I just respect him, you know? He's, he's smart. He's like... he's an adult I can look up to. Finally."
"..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
Angela talking to her parents about the new substitute teacher, Vic; "The Substitute"
"'...and the oak tree looks down on us still.' Beautiful: Precise. Exellent grammar. Impeccable punctuation. It is a litle difficult to read of course with this... footprint. It should probably be retyped."
Vic's replacement, giving Angela's banal oak tree poem a painfully banal analysis; "The Substitute"
Huge events take place on this Earth every day. Earthquakes. Hurricanes. Even glaciers move. So why couldn't he just... look at me?
Angela's VO; "Why Jordan Can't Read"
"Mom, if you care about me at all do not attempt to cheer me up, because it is not possible."
[Patty gives up and starts to go.]
"You can leave the ice cream."
Angela; "Why Jordan Can't Read"
"You know, the karma in this house is like, ridiculous."
"... Really."
"Yeah. It's really low, or dark, or... whatever it is that happens to karma."
Angela and Patty; "Other People's Mothers"
Sometimes I think if my mother wasn't so good at pretending to be happy... she'd be better... at actually being happy.
Angela; "Other People's Mothers"
[While helping Graham put up wallpaper, Brian asks a long, awkward, rambling question about how to choose between two wallpaper patterns which is really a question about girls.]
"Well... I guess it depends on how badly you need wallpaper."
"I would say pretty badly."
Graham and Brian; "Life of Brian"
Finally. An erection from actual physical contact.
Brian's VO; "Life of Brian"
I mean, the fact that she called me heartless... that's just really good. That's excellent. How ironic can you get without, like, puking?
Brian's VO; "Life of Brian"
"Why are you like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like... how you are."
"How am I?"
[Jordan walks off to leave with his friends.]
"How am I!?"
Jordan and Angela; "Life of Brian"
"Hi. Brian, this was all my fault."
Her hair smelled incredible.
"I mean I ruined your night. And Delia's night. I should have just stayed out of it."
Her hair smelled like this orange grove we passed when I was 8 on the way to see my grandmother.
"And I... I can't really explain why I even got invovled. But I'm sorry."
But I guess that's just like her shampoo... or whatever.
Angela speaking, interspersed with Brian's VO, at the World Happiness Dance; "Life of Brian"
My whole life became, like, divided. Into kissing... and not kissing.
Angela's VO; "Self-Esteem"
"Look, the only reason we talk like this is because we care about you. When I was drinking and drugging, you wanted me to stop, as my friend."
"Wait, you're comparing me making out with Jordan Catalano to you getting your stomach pumped?"
"You don't see the connection?"
Rayanne and Angela; "Self-Esteem"
"I don't believe you."
"I know."
"You're in some kind of dream world or something that revolves around you. You have like no concept of anybody else's life."
"I know!"
"You couldn't even begin to imagine the pressure I'm under. You think you're under pressure? You? That is so like laughable."
"Brian, you're completely right, okay? But could you just please explain geometry to me anyway?"
Brian and Angela; "Self-Esteem"
Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.
Angela's VO; "Pressure"
I'm just really, like, low. I'll just find any excuse to touch him...
Angela's VO; "On The Wagon"
"I just had the most upsetting fight with Angela... You know it was one of those fights where, it doesn't even seem real. It seems like the fight is having you."
Patty; "So-Called Angels"
What I was thinking, as like a New Year's resolution is to stop getting so caught up in my own thoughts... cause I'm like way too introspective, I think. But what if not thinking turns me into this really shallow person? I'd better rethink this becoming less introspective thing...
Angela's thoughts; "Resolutions"
"Have you been here your whole life?"
"Not yet."
Patty and Warren, the B&B owner; "Weekend"
"It's hard to work in a group when you're omnipotent."
Q
"Q, you exceed your own standards of self-preoccupation."
Captain Picard
"I am experiencing ni pagh."
Lt. Worf, with deja vu
"There comes a time in a man's life when he looks down for the first time on the smile of his baby girl, and knows that he must change the world for her."
Admiral Jarouk, a Romulan who crossed the Neutral Zone hoping to prevent a war, explaining why he sacrificed his career, and probably his life, for a virtually lost cause.
"She has never seen a bow!"
Captain Picard explaining technology as "magic" during a first contact mission (it's really the delivery on this one that makes it stick out in my mind, alas, so I can't properly present it)
"Remember to dress warmly on those other planes of existence."
Dr. Crusher to Wesley
"Congratulations, you have fully dilated to 10 centimeters. You may now give birth."
Worf to Keiko
"Mr. Neelix, you are an unending source of astonishment."
Tuvok, on "Voyager"
"Forgive me for saying so, but I think your compassion is affecting your judgement."
"My compassion guides my judgement."
Doctor Flox and Capt. Archer on "Enterprise"
"Soran doesn't care about power or weapons. All he cares about is getting back to the Nexus -- a place I've tried very hard to forget. That ribbon isn't just some random energy phenomenon travelling through space. It's a doorway. It leads to another place -- the Nexus. I can't remember very much -- what it looked like, or how long I was there. But I do remember how it felt: It was like being inside joy. As if joy was a tangible thing that I could wrap around myself. I've never been so content. And then, I was pulled away. I didn't want to leave; none of us did. I felt like I'd left a part of myself behind. All I could think about was getting back. I didn't care what I had to do. It took a long time, but eventually I learned to live with it. And if Soran hasn't, then he could be a very dangerous man."
Guinan discussing Soran's motives
"What's normal?"
"Normal is what everyone else is, and you are not."
Geordi and Soran
"A little trick I picked up from the Borg."
"Yeah, they're full of great ideas."
Soran and Geordi, discussing tortue techniques
"You must think I'm quite the madman."
"The thought had crossed my mind."
"The only possible reason you're here is because you're not entirely confident you can shoot down my probe after all. So you've come to dissuade me from my horrific plan. Good luck."
Soran and Picard on Veridian III
"Human females are so repulsive."
B'Etor, referring to the repugnant Dr. Crusher
"There was a time when I wouldn't have hurt anyone. Then the Borg came and they showed me that if there is one constant in this universe, it's death. Afterwards, I began to realize that none of it mattered. We're all going to die anyway. It's only a question of how and when. You will too, Captain. You might contract a fatal disease; you might die in battle... or burn to death in a fire. Aren't you beginning to feel time gaining on you? It's like a predator. It's stalking you. You can try to outrun it with doctors, medicines, new technologies but in the end, time is going to hunt you down and make the kill."
"We're all mortal, Soran. It's one of the truths of our existence."
"What if I told you I found a new truth?"
"The Nexus."
"Time has no meaning there. The predator has no teeth."
Soran and Picard on Veridian III
"Don't you have anything better to do?"
Dr. Soran to Picard, after Picard throws a rock at his force field
"Now, if you'll excuse me, Captain, I have an appointment with eternity and I don't want to be late."
Dr. Soran as the ribbon approaches
"This is the Nexus?"
"For you. This is where you wanted to be."
Picard and Guinan in the Nexus
"I don't know. I was on the Enterprise-B, in the deflector control room... keep stirring these, will you? The bulkhead in front of me disappeared, and then I found myself out there chopping wood."
Kirk, explaining how he got to the Nexus
"This doesn't look like your bedroom."
"No, no, it's not. It's better."
Picard and Kirk, in a barn
"I can start all over again... do things right from day one."
Kirk realizing what the Nexus represents
"Spot! I am very happy to find you, Spot."
"Data, are you all right?"
"I am not sure, Counselor. I am happy to see Spot, and yet I am crying. My emotional program must be malfunctioning again."
"No, Data, I think it's working perfectly."
Data and Troi, upon finding Spot after the crash
"It's not how many years you've lived, Will, but how you've lived them. Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalks us all our lives. But perhaps time is a companion who goes with us on our journey, and reminds us to cherish the moments of our lives because they will never come again. We are, after all, only mortal."
Picard contemplating at the end
"Revenge is sweet, except when it backfires."
Space Ghost; an honest line of dialogue from the original SG cartoon
"I don't think my mom would like it if I became evil."
a caller to Zorak's Helpful Hints
"When the ratings go up it's like the whole world is made of doughnuts!"
Brak
"Can it be? Zut alors! I do love the Nanny! I feel it deep inside in my icky stuff."
Space Ghost, after interviewing Fran Drescher on C2C
"Zorak can lick my center of gravity!"
S.G., irritated, on C2C
"His power bands are the totally magnificent weapons of goodness!"
Space Ghost, imagining Zorak's thoughts
"What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant?"
"A big stinky beast? A thing with two heads? A garbage truck?"
Zorak and Brak
"We could get married; just the two of us. And you could get a job drivin' a school bus."
Brak's song, "I Love You, Baby"
"You know, love is a happy time, all throughout the universe. It's when the male part of the species goes to the female part of the species and says, 'Hey, you wanna go on a date?' And then she would say, 'Why, yes, I'd like to go on a date.' ...If you're lucky! And then you go to a restaurant, and she gets something called... a salad. And then he gets a big piece of beef... that he eats. And that, to me, ladies and gentlemen, is love. Kinda makes you cry, doesn't it?"
a spoken interlude by Brak in SG's song, "I Love Almost Everybody"
"Today, boys and girls, put your best foot forward. If you're not sure which of your feet is your best foot, flip a coin, or have them run a race!"
Space Ghost
"I guess one person really can make a difference, but most of the time they probably shouldn't."
Marge
"We have reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us."
an alien
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
"Mrs. Hoover, my worm jumped into my mouth. Can I have another one?"
"I bent my wookie."
various Ralph Wiggum lines
"I am disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious?!"
Mr. Sparkle, the Japanese product mascot that looks like Homer
"Why does my death keep coming back to haunt me?"
Homer
"This match will determine once and for all which country is the greatest nation on earth: Mexico or Portugal!?!?"
TV commercial for a soccer game
"In your face, Space Coyote!"
Homer, after recovering from hallucinations brought on by eating a Guatemalan Insanity Pepper
"I'm not dead! And neither is my sense of moral outrage!"
Lisa Simpson
"It's like being married to my best friend, and he lets me feel his boobs."
Homer Simpson, on life with Marge
"Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'the whammy'."
Scully to Mulder on "X-Files"
"Why are you so paranoid, Mulder?"
"Oh I don't know. Maybe because I find it so difficult to trust anybody."
a random FBI guy and Mulder on "X-Files"
"Have you ever thought seriously about dying?"
"Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades."
Scully and Mulder on "X-Files"
"It's better if we don't have any unnecessary orgasms. [...] You'll have all that sperm saved up. Just think! It'll be fun!"
Jamie on "Mad About You"
"It says you're dead."
"Can you make it not say that? Maybe bring me back to life?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not authorized to do that."
a banker and Paul on "Mad About You"
"No matter when I die, it's going to piss me off."
Burt, Burt Buchman, Paul's father, on "Mad About You"
"God, these Nazis are so obnoxious!"
Jamie on "Mad About You", in response to the letters she is reading, written during WWII
"The meaning of the box is threefold."
Chandler on "Friends", trapped inside a box as penance
"I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I don't like about her. You want to hear it? ...She made me switch to light mayo. ... That's it! That's all I've got! And you know what? It tastes the same, and my pants fit better!"
Joey on "Friends", talking about Rachel
"Thanksgiving without turkey is like... Fourth of July with no apple pie, or... Friday with no two pizzas."
Joey on "Friends"
"Trends will come and trends will go. But I say, there will always be room for movies where teenage girls take their clothes off."
Larry, Dawson's studio-head boss on "Dawson's Creek"
"I want this movie to be wall-to-wall boobs. It's going to be a great picture."
Larry, Dawson's studio-head boss on "Dawson's Creek"
"Did you sleep with him?"
"A little..."
Ally McBeal and Elaine
"My arrogance is simply anticipatory. It coincides with the prospect of certain victory."
John Cage on "Ally McBeal"
"Objection, your honor: Dull."
"Overruled."
Richard Fish and Judge Walsh, on "Ally McBeal"
"She's toast, I'm the biscuit. We're not finished; I'M THE BISCUIT."
John Cage, resolute, on "Ally McBeal"
"My name is Kit Kat. This is not a dream."
a business card someone hands to Bruce Willis in "Hudson Hawk"
"I'll torture you so slowly you'll think it's a career!"
the head bad guy in "Hudson Hawk"
"Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler: he did a lot of stuff, but don't we all wish he'd just stayed home and gotten stoned?"
Dex in "The Tao of Steve"
"Am I supposed to remain celebate while I bask in the warm glow of your annihilating contempt?"
Dex to Syd in "The Tao of Steve", after she asks why he's sleeping with other women if he claims to be falling for her
"Why are you cutting open feces on my desk?"
Conan O'Brien
"I hear a lot of people talking about tolerance, but I don't see anybody tolerating my racism."
the head of John Rocker in a comedy bit on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"
"You and I should come before laserdiscs and Enterprise christmas ornaments."
"Whatever..."
"Where are you going?"
"Seems like I'm going nowhere."
"Don't you dare quote Star Wars to me! You can't get away with that shit with me. You know, maybe you should start living in the present instead of the 24th century."
Claire and Rob in "Free Enterprise"
Eric: Well what do you suggest we do [...] watch it on disc?
Gabrielle: Ooo... only if you have the pan and scan version.
Mark: Jesus, Gab...
Her boyfriend, Harry (embarrassed, addressing the group): I'm sorry...
from "Free Enterprise"
"Maybe we should think twice before releasing the unholy powers of Hell."
Earl Sinclair, on the sitcom "Dinosaurs"
"This factory is important. Where else are we going to get wax fruit from? After all, it doesn't grow on trees."
a worker for FruitCo on "Dinosaurs"
"The ability to manufacture wax fruit is what seperates us from the animals."
Earl Sinclair on "Dinosaurs"
Prepare for trouble, and make it double.
To protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within our nation,
To denounce the evils of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above.
Jessie. James. Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
Surrender now, or prepare to fight.
Meowth! That's right!
Team Rocket!! ^_^
"He doesn't get it, does he?"
"How can I, when you don't make any sense?"
Jessie and Ash on "Pokemon"
"Please do not offend God, for he is already very offended."
an angel on a cartoon about the Portuguese kids that supposedly talked to the Virgin Mary
"No dancing until we say our rosaries!"
the older girl on the same cartoon
"I can sum it up in one word: indescribable!"
Gonzo the muppet
"When I think of this movie, one word comes to mind: Oscar! Because Oscar likes garbage."
Gilbert Gottfried, on an old "USA: Up All Night" spot
"I am an Indian, but I also represent death."
animatronic Indian in the "Oliver Stone World" sketch on the Ben Stiller Show
"Anything is possible for someone with an anti-gravitational ray!"
Slash, the evil mutant turtle from Dimension X
"Now Kube must live like hermit in Castle of the Mind."
the Kube, on "Parker Lewis"
Time to make the doughnuts, you bastard!
one of Letterman's Top Ten Rejected Arnold Schwarzenegger Movie Lines
"I just killed my wife! Is that wrong?"
a guy in "Needful Things"
"You can't mesmerize me! I'm British!"
Peter Cushing's character in "At the Earth's Core", a terrible "Lost World" ripoff, right before he is hypnotized by a pterodactyl (Cushing also played Grand Moff Tarkin in "Star Wars: A New Hope")
"Move away, cave-man!"
an adventurer addressing a grizzled man standing near his woman in some b&w dino movie
"Your blazing speed won't save you from my rolling eyeball."
a monster narrating a commercial for an electric slot car race set
"Is either of you a paleontologist? I'm desperately in need of a paleontologist."
"No, we're high school students."
Dr. Falkner and the girl in "Wargames"
"I would find great enjoyment biting them on the tushies."
Blitz, the doberman pincer on "Road Rovers"
"I'm alright, but Elliot's in the crater!"
the mother in NBC's miniseries, "Asteroid"
"The stuff they did was so weird, [that] it was creepy."
woman in NBC's miniseries, "House of Frankenstein: 1997"
"Perhaps not eating people is the first step towards making friends."
Omnipotus on "The Tick"
"I'd like to thank my grandma, for always being good to me, and for helping to save the world and all."
the kid in "Mars Attacks!", making his acceptance speech for a presidential accomodation
"I said a scalpel, not Excalibur!"
a surgeon addressing a knight in a Learning Channel promo
"It would take hundreds of years to tell my life story."
"And how old are you?"
"Seven. ...I've had a lot of things happen to me."
a little girl and interviewer on a "Kids Say the Darndest Things" sort of show
"You'll have to get accustomed to Dr. Malcolm. He suffers from a deplorable excess of personality, especially for a mathematician."
Hammond in "Jurassic Park"
"I find you unacceptable! If I did not fear incarceration by human authority figures I would terminate your life functions by applying sufficient pressure to your blunt skull so as to cause its collapse!"
Beldar Meepzor in the "Coneheads" movie
"Satan's second choice is root beer."
Hyde on "That 70s Show", stoned
"I can't marry you. I just got PlayStation 2. It's very time consuming."
Jimmy Falon on SNL, during Weekend Update
"It's so fishy that I can smell it, and it smells like burning fish."
Mihoshi in "Tenchi Muyo", during a fishy situation
"You just ask them questions and listen to what they say and shit."
"I don't know... that sounds like a lot of work..."
two guys in "American Pie" on how to do well with girls
"Take me, Garth."
"Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket."
"I'm going to be frank..."
"Okay. Can I still be Garth?"
Kim Basinger and Garth, "Wayne's World 2"
"Hey, is today tuesday? Because I've got to find my pants."
a highly stereotypical college kid on "Early Edition"
"I have a SeaDo now... I'm so excited. Not to mention the McNuggets."
Sherri on "Moolah Beach" after winning thousands of dollars in prizes including a jet-ski. Also, a year's free meals at McDonald's.
"It's great! It's an A. A+. Is anything higher than an A+? It's an A+ with a crown and a wand."
Lorelei on "Gilmore Girls", regarding Rory's article for the school paper
"What was his body language like?"
"Tall."
Lorelai and Rory on "Gilmore Girls"
"Ahhh... mercury... Sweetest of the transition metals."
a whale in an especially odd Sealab 2021 episode, having just eaten a fish
"She just won't stop. She's like the Terminator, except she's not from the future and she likes to dance."
Wendy talking about party-animal Jessica on "Andy Richter Controls The Universe"
"I think people thought the end of the world really was the end of the world, you know? And you shouldn't have to worry about piddly shit anymore. Either there's this great cloud of paradise, or there's this fiery pit... and you shouldn't have to go scrounge around for tuna fish."
"Eddie", a one-shot character, in an episode of the post-apocalyptic series, "Jeremiah"
"::sigh:: I need a Pop-Tart."
young Delia on "Everwood", delivered the way an adult would say "I need a beer"
"Ed, in this society, hotties are given a little more leaway than others. It's unfair but true."
Mike on an episode of "Ed"
"I know you're good at reaming people out, but that's not the kind of help I need right now."
"I don't know what else I can do."
Student aide Marcie and vice-principal Guber on "Boston Public", regarding his yelling at the boy who impregnated her
"I... I can't do this if you're going to be in this state. Please go away, and come back when you're ready to be reprimanded."
Vice-principal Guber attempting to chew out teacher Miss Torres, who is crying, on "Boston Public"
"If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will come falling down like a house of cards: Checkmate!"
Zap Branigan on "Futurama"
"Since when are you into spelling?"
Sam on "Totally Spies!", addressing the team's nemesis who has just announced her intention to beat Sam in the spelling bee; Sam, of course, is into spelling, and probably always has been, because she's just that awesome ^_^
"I'm going to beat her the old fashioned way: by studying really hard!"
Sam on "Totally Spies!", delineating her strategy for winning said spelling bee
"Unauthorized actions are not permitted!"
some commander-type guy in the anime, "Blue Gender"
I really don't know how to decribe this category. Some of it is funny, as above, and some of it is not. Some of the funny stuff is even funny on purpose. Most of it is either serious or simply weird in a way that makes me grin and think, "that rules", in the same sense that I can say "Pokemon kicks ass" and really mean it.
"To make an apple pie from scratch, we must first invent the universe."
Carl Sagan, "Cosmos"
"If you had eyes that worked in radio light, they'd probably be bigger than wagon wheels."
Carl Sagan, "Cosmos"
"Are you clear? I'm going to slew to the east."
"I should be clear. Just take it easy."
two guys in a "Cosmos" re-enactment; of course, after years of studying astronomy this conversation seems completely natural to me now, but when I first heard it in 10th grade it sounded weird and awesome
"...and the moon makes you vomit."
James Burke on "The Day the Universe Changed", talking about astrological medicine
"They wanted to exsanguinate him."
a little girl on "X-Files" explaining why the men from the clouds were after her father
"Scully loves Mulder and Mulder loves Scully. It's a wonderful romance, it's just not a sexual romance. It's not a physical romance. It is a caring, tender, respectful relationship. It's an ideal, and I would never want to do anything to threaten it, to change it."
Chris Carter, regarding his "X-Files" characters. He later broke this vow, that rotten fink. Grr.
"Open dark!"
Darwin the dolphin on "seaQuest DSV"
"Part of what you are saying to me is a lie. The rest is painfully true."
a shrink on a "Quantum Leap" episode
"Captain, we will not be silent!"
Sam Neil's character in "The Hunt for Red October"
"Can you even see anything?"
"I see everything."
"Cool..."
John Conner and T-101 in "Terminator 2"
"All right then, truth. That's it. Yes, it must be truth."
Merlin in "Excalibur", on the most important virtue
"What do you need a fake ID for?"
"So I can vote."
the jock and the nerd in "Breakfast Club"
"You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie."
Rosie O'Donnel to Meg Ryan in "Sleepless in Seattle"
"I'm just a kid from a trailer park."
"If that's what you think, that's all you'll ever be."
Alex and Centauri in "The Last Starfighter"
"You, sir, are no gentleman."
"That s'posed to be an insult?"
"I can think of none greater."
Roland and an asshole in "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" (extra scene)
"This isn't a funk. It's my personality."
Jen Linley on "Dawson's Creek"
"...sometimes you can make a promise, and you mean it at the time, but then life gets in the way and it becomes impossible to keep."
Dawson, "Dawson's Creek"
"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."
Ricky in "American Beauty"
"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once... and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Don't worry... you will someday."
Lester, closing out "American Beauty"
"Death in a cause is one thing, but death without meaning..."
"If I told you to climb a mountain, and bring me a flower from the highest point, and you would die after completing this task, would that be meaningless?"
"Of course. It's trivial."
"And if there are a million people waiting at the base of that mountain, to whom that one flower was a symbol of their freedom, and they would follow that symbol and your death into a struggle that would liberate half a billion souls, would that have a meaning?"
"..."
"You see, we create the meaning in our lives. It does not exist independently. Being Anla'Shok does not mean worrying about what others will think about us. It does not mean deciding what to do based upon whether or not it serves our sense of ego or destiny. It means living each moment as if it were your last one. It means doing each right thing because it is the right thing. The scale doesn't matter; the where, the when, the how, or in what cause. None of those things matter. In my life I've discovered very few truths. Here is the greatest truth I know: Your death, Rastenn, will have a meaning if it comes while you're in fullest pursuit of your heart."
Rastenn and elder Turval, rangers, in Babylon 5 episode "Learning Curve". Who would have expected a religious caste Minbari to espouse such a secular, humanist ideal? Of course, series creator JMS is atheist, so I guess it makes sense in that way.
"It's bad luck to die on an empty stomach."
G'Kar, on "Babylon 5"
"You will not defeat me so easily!"
"Yes, it won't be easy. But it will be worth the effort."
Aku and Samurai Jack
"Come on, children. What can be so bad? It's salisbury steak day."
Chef on "South Park"
"Nobody likes a cliche hero."
"I don't know about that. If you ask me, I think it's kind of refreshing."
Scourge and Ultra Magnus, regarding Optimus Prime, in "Transformers: Robots In Disguise"
"I'm a scientist. I don't believe in evil beings in space."
Imiko in the "Sailor Moon S" movie
[celebrants ululating]
a closed caption in "The Mists of Avalon"
"Reflect upon my precepts from the afterlife!!!"
Monk Anji during his duel with Sano in "Rerouni Kenshin". He says this while delivering what he intends to be a deathblow, so it's shouted and very, very emphatic. I swear to someday use this line in my real life. (Well, without the deathblow. Hopefully.)
"The way in which you were given life has nothing to do with the way you live your life as a human being."
Roger Smith in Act 25 of "Big O"
"Although we killed the Indians who held the litter, others at once took their places and held it aloft, and in this manner we spent a long time in overcoming and killing Indians.
[...]
"The Governor said to Atahuallpa, '[...] We come to conquer this land [...] that all may come to a knowledge of God and of His Holy Catholic Faith; and by reason of our good mission, god, the Creator of heaven and earth and of all things in them, permits this, in order that you may know Him and come out from the bestial and diabolical life that you lead. [...] When you have seen the errors in which you live, you will understand the good that we have done you by coming to your land...'"
pp72,74, eyewitness accounts of Pizarro's overthrow of the Incan Empire in 1532
Yes, an untreated cholera patient may eventually die from producing diarrheal fluid at a rate of several gallons per day. At least for a while, though, as long as the patient is still alive, the cholera bacterium profits from being massively broadcast into the water supplies of its next victims.
p200
Deadly Gifts from Our Animal Friends
p207, title for a table of human diseases inherited from domesticated animals
For the New World as a whole, the Indian population decline in the century or two following Columbus's arrival is estimated to have been as large as 95 percent.
p211
When other entrepreneurs created jukeboxes by arranging for a phonograph to play popular music at the drop of a coin, Edison objected to this debasement, which apparently detracted from serious office use of his invention.
p243
With the rise of chiefdoms around 75,000 years ago, people had to learn, for the first time in history, how to encounter strangers regularly without attempting to kill them.
p273
When finally encountered by Europeans in A.D. 1642, the Tasmanians had the simplest material culture of any people in the modern world. [...] they also lacked many technologies [...] and the practices of catching and eating fish, sewing, and starting a fire.
p312
That demographic shift of the last 500 years [ie. European infestation of the Americas and extirmination of the Indians] -- the most massive shift on any continent except Australia -- has its ultimate roots in developments between about 11,000 B.C. and A.D. 1.
p375
In addition, the divisions bewteen blacks, whites, and the other major groups are arbitrary...
p378
Had Africa's rhinos and hippos been domesticated [or even dometicable] and ridden, they would not only have fed armies but also have provided an unstoppable cavalry to cut through the ranks of European horsemen. Rhino-mounted Bantu shock troops could have overthrown the Roman Empire. It never happened.
p399
Although most biologists agree that biological systems are in the end wholly determined by their physical properties and obey the laws of quantum mechanics, the systems' complexity means, for practical purposes, that the deterministic causation does not translate into predictability. Knowledge of quantum mechanics does not help one understand why introduced placental predators have exterminated so many Australian marsupial species, or why the Allied Powers rather than the Central Powers won World War I.
p423
In fact, of course, there is no secret knowledge; no one knows anything that can't be found on a shelf in the public library.
narrator, p.5
"The error that caused me to live as an unwitting imposter for so many years had been corrected at last. I had been made whole as a person -- not again, but for the very first time. [...] He had twice made a brief appearance in my life -- and twice, with a single utterance, had transformed me."
Ishmael, p.18
"He began to speak to me, not in the jocular way of visitors to the menagerie, but rather as one speaks to the wind or to the waves crashing on a beach, uttering that which must be said but which must not be heard by anyone."
Ishmael, p.20
There are times when having too much to say can be as dumbfounding as having too little.
narrator, p.24
"I have no idea."
"Of course you do. You're just playing dumb."
I sat there for a minute, trying to figure out how to stop playing dumb.
the narrator and Ishmael, p.46
"We don't need prophets to tell us how to live; we can find out for ourselves by consulting what's actually there."
Ishmael, p.96
"Trial and error isn't a bad way to learn to build an aircraft, but it can be a disasterous way to learn to build a civilization."
Ishmael, p.110
"The gazelle and the lion are enemies only in the minds of the Takers. The lion that comes across a herd of gazelles doesn't massacre them, as an enemy would. It kills one, not to satisfy its hatred of gazelles, but to satisfy its hunger, and once it has made its kill the gazelles are perfectly content to go on grazing with the lion right in their midst."
Ishmael, p.117
"About ten thousand years ago one branch of the family of Homo sapiens sapiens said 'Man is exempt from this law. The gods never meant man to be bound by it.' And so they built a civilization that flouts the law at every point, and within five hundred generations -- in an eye-blink in the scale of biological time -- this branch of the family of Homo sapiens sapiens saw that they had brought the entire world to the point of death."
Ishmael, pp.118-9
Living in my building is like dancing... in a room where everybody's listening to a different kind of music.
Sharon's narration
She's got this big leather-bound book, and that look that faces have in Old World paintings, you know? Like they were lit by candles. Like their noses and their chins are made from different shapes, not because they got bored of the noses and the chins they were born with, but just because there's something different in the water, or the light.
Sharon's narration
"The hardest part of science is to know what question you are asking."
Laura Bassi
"Water will jump from a path that is frozen and refreeze in another path nearby."
Laura Bassi
"I come down here in the morning and imagine a ferry will take me away."
"To New Jersey?"
"To some place new. Except I'm scared of water. Who would believe that? I'd last two seconds on that ferry, and I'd have to swim away."
"How can you swim without dealing with the water?"
"Being in the middle of it, I have no time to be afraid."
Laura and Sharon
I think I was stunned how little words like "light" and "water" could mean such big things.
Sharon's narration
I want to say: "I've started hanging out with this woman who's been dead for over 200 years. She cuts off salamander legs as a hobby, but she's really a physicist. She proved one of Newton's theories about constant pressures caused by damp air." I want to bring up Katherine Hepburn... and my basement. I think there are significant connections here. But what is the right time for a discussion like that?
Instead I say: "My plants are dying."
Sharon's narration
One thing I've learned being a shadow is that if you breathe in someone else's air too long there's a good chance you'll drown.
Sharon's narration
"The passion for the work is exactly the right choice of words. What I always want my students to see at the end of the course is that you look at the world with different eyes. You may look into the night sky, but you don't see specks of light or light pollution in Boston. You see beyond because you see with your mind's eye what is there and begin to appreciate really the whole sense of living in this incredible universe. I think that's the vision children have and scientists should never lose. Not that we don't have problems. But the heart of it... if you lose the joy of it... it's time to leave."
one of the scientists
I keep waiting to get carded in the entrances of libraries the way I used to get carded in bars. But no one stops me from going in.
Sharon's narration
"You know what really 'pisses me off'? All these women who say no. All these women who say I can't or I won't. Or they won't let me. Because at the end of the day, whose permission are you waiting for?"
Laura Bassi
And this question I've been holding in my pocket for at least two hundred years... this question about all these little words whose meanings are so incredibly big. "How do I connect to them?" That's been my question all along, but now I know what the answer is.
Sharon's narration, speaking of Physics (what else? ^_^)
The asteroid belt [...] may be the shattered remains of a planet that blew itself up. This seems improbable because no scientist on Earth knows how a planet might blow itself up, which is probably just as well.
p87
At higher frequencies, beyond the violet, is a part of the spectrum called the ultraviolet: a perfectly real kind of light carrying death to the microbes. It is invisible to us, but readily detectable by bumblebees and photoelectric cells.
p92
At age twenty, he [Newton] purchased a book on astrology... He read it until he came to an illustration which he could not understand, because he was ignorant of trigonometry. So he purchased a book on trigonometry but soon found himself unable to follow the geometrical arguments. So he found a copy of Euclid's Elements of Geometry, and began to read. Two years later he invented the differential Calculus.
p68
[Anaxagoras] held that the Sun was so huge that it was probably larger than the Peloponnesus, roughly the southern half of Greece. His critics thought this estimate excessive and absurd.
p182
Instead of sharing these important mathematical discoveries, the Pythagoreans suppressed knowledge of the square root of two and the dodecahedron. The outside world was not to know. [...] A Pythagorean named Hippasus published the secret of the "sphere with twelve pentagons", the dodecahedron. When he later died in a shipwreck, we are told, his fellow Pythagoreans remarked on the justice of the punishment. His book has not survived.
p185, and footnote
If the Big Dipper is a spear, this must be the Middle Pleistocene.
p197
"...days that are good to spend [...] are not much to listen to."
The Hobbit, p51
"Such light and flame cannot have been seen on Weathertop since the war-beacons of old."
Gandalf describing his battle with the Nine; Fellowship, p. 317
But even as the orc flung down the truncheon and swept out his scimitar, Andúril came down upon his helm. There was a flash like flame and the helm burst asunder. The orc fell with cloven head. His followers fled howling, as Boromir and Aragorn sprang at them.
Fellowship, p.386
The ranks of the orcs had opened, and they crowded away, as if they themselves were afraid. Something was coming up behind them. What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which was a dark form, of man-shape maybe, yet greater; and a power of terror seemed to be in it and to go before it.
It came to the edge of the fire and the light faded as if a cloud had bent over it. Then with a rush it leaped across the fissure. The flames roared up to great it, and wreathed about it; and a black smoke swirled in the air. Its streaming mane kindled, and blazed behind it. In its right hand was a blade like a stabbing tongue of fire; in its left it held a whip of many thongs.
"Ai! Ai!" wailed Legolas. "A Balrog! A Balrog is come!"
Gimli stared with wide eyes. "Durin's Bane!" he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face.
Fellowship, p.391
"Give me your name, horse-master, and I will give you mine, and more besides."
[...]
"He stands not alone," said Legolas, bending his bow and fitting an arrow with hands that moved quicker than sight. "You would die before your stroke fell."
Towers, p.42
"We have come all the way from the mines to kill, and avenge our folk. I wish to kill, and then go back north."
"Then you can wish again," said the growling voice. "I am Uglúk. I command. I return to Isengard by the shortest road."
Towers, pp.60-61
"If we do not find them soon, we shall be of no use to them, except to sit down beside them and show our friendship by starving together."
Gimli; Towers, pp.120-121
"Speak! Tell us where you have hidden our friends! What have you done with them? Speak, or I will make a dint in your hat that even a wizard will find it hard to deal with."
Gimli; Towers, p.124
"I am not going to tell you my name, not yet at any rate. For one thing it would take a long while: my name is growing all the time, and I've lived a very long, long time; so my name is like a story. Real names tell you the story of the things they belong to in my language, in the Old Entish as you might say. It is a lovely language, but it takes a very long time to say anything in it, because we do not say anything in it, unless it is worth taking a long time to say, and to listen to."
Treebeard; Towers pp85-86
"That sent them mad. I thought they were really roused before; but I was wrong. I saw what it was like at last. It was staggering. They roared and boomed and trumpeted, until stones began to crack and fall at the mere noise of them. Merry and I lay on the ground and stuffed our cloaks into our ears. Round and round the rock of Orthanc the Ents went striding and storming like a howling gale, breaking pillars, hurling avalanches of boulders down the shafts, tossing up huge slabs of stone into the air like leaves. The tower was in the middle of a spinning whirlwind. I saw iron posts and blocks of masonry go rocketing up hundreds of feet, and smash against the windows of Orthanc."
Pippin; Towers, p.221
Then the Messenger of Mordor laughed no more. His face was twisted with amazement and anger to the likeness of some wild beast that, as it crouches over its prey, is smitten on the muzzle with a stinging rod. Rage filled him and his mouth slavered, and shapeless sounds of fury came strangling from his throat.
Return, p.205
"I was required to exchange chimeras of boundless grandeur for realities of little worth."
Victor Frankenstein
"My abhorrence of this fiend cannot be conceived. When I thought of him I gnashed my teeth, my eyes became inflamed, and I ardently wished to extinguish that life which I had so thoughtlessly bestowed. When I reflected on his crimes and malice, my hatred and revenge burst all bounds of moderation. I would have made a pilgrimage to the highest peak of the Andes, could I when there have precipitated him to their base. I wished to see him again, that I might wreak the utmost extent of abhorrence on his head and avenge the deaths of William and Justine."
Victor Frankenstein
"It had then filled me with a sublime ecstasy that gave wings to the soul and allowed it to soar from the obscure world to light and joy."
Victor Frankenstein
"What a glorious creature must he have been in the days of his prosperity, when he is thus noble and godlike in ruin!"
Robert Walton, on Frankenstein
"All joy was but a mockery which insulted my desolate state."
the monster
"On the whole island there were but three three miserable huts, and one of these was vacant when I arrived. This I hired. It contained but two rooms, and these exhibited all the squalidness of the most miserable penury."
Dr. Frankenstein
"Sometimes, on the very brink of certainty, I failed; yet still I clung to the hope which the next day or the next hour might realize."
Victor Frankenstein
"A human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquility."
Victor Frankenstein. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't have passion! Only that we shouldn't let it drive us to the brink of madness. Your heart and your mind need to work together; don't ignore one in favor of the other.
"Oh, I am slain!"
dying people in Hamlet and Othello
"He has killed me, mother!"
Lady Macduff's son in Macbeth
"O full of scorpions is my mind!"
Macbeth
"Stand and unfold yourself!"
a guard in the second line of Hamlet
"I know so well that I am to blame that you need not remind me of it"
Damon Wildeve in Return of the Native
"She is very unpleasent."
Damon Wildeve in Return of the Native
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes." For he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. [...] Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.
"But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are Real?" And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
"The Boy's Uncle made me Real. That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
The Velveteen Rabbit; this passage makes me cry every time I read it... ;_;
Nana grumbled, "You must have your old Bunny! Fancy all that fuss for a toy!"
"Give me my Bunny! You mustn't say that. He isn't a toy. He's REAL!"
When the little Rabbit heard that, he was happy, for he knew what the Skin Horse had said was true at last. The nursery magic had happened to him, and he was a toy no longer. He was Real. The Boy himself had said it.
That night he was almost too happy to sleep, and so much love stirred in his little sawdust heart that it almost burst.
The Velveteen Rabbit
Once the shock forms above the surface of the inner core, the time required to penetrate the outer core is only 20 milliseconds. This process is known as a prompt hydrodynamic explosion.
Carroll and Ostlie's Modern Astrophysics, pp513-4; I love the almost sarcastic level of plain-ness and understatement that goes into a lot of scientific terminology
Outside the future and past light cones is an unknowable elsewhere, that part of spacetime of which a traveler at event A can have no knowledge and over which he or she can have no influence. It may come as a surprise to realize that vast regions of spacetime are hidden from us. You just can't get there from here.
In principle, every event in spacetime has a pair of light cones extending from it. The light cone divides spacetime into that event's future, past, and elsewhere. For any event in the past to have possibly influenced you, that event must lie within your past light cone, just as any event that you can ever possibly affect must lie within your future light cone. Your entire future worldline, your destiny, must therefore lie within your future light cone at every instant. Light cones act as spacetime horizons, separating the knowable from the unknowable.
p650 of Modern Astrophysics, by Carroll and Ostlie
"The magnetic field lines are often called 'lines of force'. They are not lines of force. This misnomer is perpetuated here to prepare the student for the treacheries of his profession."
Francis Chen, in Introduction to Plasma Physics and Controlled Fusion
39. A very long, 1.0-mm diameter copper wire carries a 2.5 A current from left to right. A mosquito 1.0 cm from the wire would like to move in such a way as to experience an electric field but no magnetic field. How fast and in which direction should she fly?
Chapter 34 problem 39 in the 2004 edition of Randy Knight's physics textbook
In this work, when it shall be found that much is omitted, let it not be forgotten that much likewise is performed...
Samuel Johnson, in the preface to his 1755 dictionary
"An Egyptian papyrus showing an antelope and a lion in a game of chess; a playful scene from daily life."
photo caption in a Western history textbook, teaching us things we never knew about life in ancient Egypt
Now, what's the difference between an invisible, incorporeal, floating dragon who spits heatless fire and no dragon at all? If there's no way to disprove my contention [that such a dragon lives in my garage], no conceivable experiment that would count against it, what does it mean to say that my dragon exists?
Carl Sagan in The Demon-Haunted World
"Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spend my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.
[...]
"They talk of me going around and buying souls, like a fishwife come market day, never stopping to ask themselves why. I need no souls. And how can anyone own a soul? No. They belong to themselves... they just hate to have to face up to it."
Lucifer, Sandman #23
And the Angel Duma's tear, crystalline and clear, filled the vision of each of the onlookers. Reflected in it, they saw mercy, miracles, and the knowledge that every thing that is, has a purpose, and that the purpose, somehow, included every one of them on a deep and personal level.
Sandman #72, at Dream's funeral
"Nobody's creepy from the inside. Some of them are sad, and some of them hurt, and some of them think they're the only real thing in the whole world. But they're not creepy."
Death commenting on humanity, Death: The Time of Your Life #2
"There are men who walk among us who strive to be better each day, who place the needs of their friends above their own, and who face their own fears straight ahead, unflinching. It does the rest of us good to be in their company when they allow it."
Bishop speaking of Logan in the Wolverine '95 Annual
"Lady I once knew told me a friend is someone who knew your own personal song, and is there to sing it for you when you forget it."
Logan, Wolverine '95 Annual
"The world ends only over my dead body."
Captain America, X-Men #56
"Only the weak succumb to brutality."
Superman, Kingdom Come #3
"The deliberate taking of human -- even super-human -- life goes against every belief I have -- and that you have. That's the one thing that we've always had in common. It's what made us what we are. More than anyone in the world, when you scratch everything else away from Batman, you're left with someone who doesn't want to see anybody die."
Superman to Batman, Kingdom Come #3
"There's some pain ya think ya can't live through and never get over. But livin' is all about pickin' yourself up and goin' on."
Logan in Wolverine #106
The Earth... that beautiful, filthy gem we spin so ignorantly upon... is sick... dying... of a cancer. A stupid, smiling cancer that feeds upon both the host that sustains it and its own squalid mass. With remarkable appetite and efficacy. The disease is called humanity. Left unfettered, the cancer will surely consume everything, leaving the Earth a haunted corpse.
Magneto, X-Men #85
"What's happened?"
"Same old, same old. Demons come, we mow them down. More demons come... Ah, well, you know what they say about idle hands."
"That hasn't been our problem."
Magik, Thunderbird, and Wolverine in X-Men: Black Sun #4
We here at the House of Ideas revel in the opportunity to deliver to you only the finest adventures featuring the world's greatest heroes being shot in the head.
lettercol editor in Wolverine #154
"You're just not tough enough for this. You know what'll happen -- you'll find some broken hearted alien princess behind this, or a space tyrant with a sob story -- and you'll MELT, like you always do. You'll agonize over what solution's best and fairest for everyone in the universe, and it the meantime the USA'll go to hell, and American citizens'll take it in the shorts. There needs to be someone runnin' this who'll put the emphasis where it belongs -- on US."
surly hero USAgent berating the Avengers in Maximum Security #1
"Maybe it's beautiful down here, but what good is a lifeless world where even the insects can't live...? If we humans are the real pollution..."
Nausicaä, in Nausicaä of the Valley of Wind
It wasn't some ancient religious shrine... It was a gateway... Two temples, one in Wakanda, one in, well, by the looks of it the alien equivalent of Hoboken. I briefly wondered how many levels of un-do this game had.
Everett Ross, narrating Black Panther #25
"So, NFL -- tell me 'bout these 'powers' of yours. Can you do neat stuff like bake a potato in under 60 seconds?"
"I am the Master of Vibration..."
"...which must make you real popular with the ladies."
Queen Divine Justice and Vibraxus in Black Panther #29
"You're in no position to define our jurisdiction, Mr. President."
Jack Hawksmoor of The Authority, ish #13 ???
For decades, pessimistic placards announced 'The world is coming to an end.' Today, heralded by hail-filled crimson skies and electrical fury, the world is indeed at its end.
Crisis On Infinite Earths #4
"Your forbidden experiments have unleashed an evil universe. For that you must be punished."
Oan judge to Krona, Crisis On Infinite Earths #7
"A hero is not measured by what her power may be, but by the courage she shows in living, and the warmth she holds in her heart."
Batgirl's eulogy for Supergirl, Crisis #7
"It is through selflessness only that any measure of greatness can be attained."
Sunburst, Crisis #12
It is not the moments of tragedy that define our lives so much as the choices we make to deal with them.
Batman in Batman: War On Crime by Paul Dini and Alex Ross
Jasmine. She's killing me with jasmine. (In a good way.) How do girls know how to smell just right? The strawbery in her hair. The jasmine on her skin. The vanilla on her feet. She's got it all on just right. I know there's more to a woman than smell. I know. But with my unique perspectice, my view of the world through blind eyes and enhanced senses... smell is a big, big part of it.
Even her heartbeat is elegant.
Matt Murdock's thoughts in Daredevil vol2 #43, by Bendis
When you have everything you ever wanted in life, you want to live to enjoy it. But when something comes along that means MORE than everything you ever wanted in life -- that's when you find it within you, quite unexpectedly, to be more than what you are.
X-Men Unlimited #45, by Chuck Austen
I can't tell you exactly why I have succeeded in my chosen field, but I know that part of it has to be that I don't take advice from guys that post on DAREDEVIL message boards under the name "Darkside Pikachu".
Bendis, in the POWERS #31 lettercol
"My advice is just to white out the offending dialogue in your comics with correcting fluid and then, using a fine-nibbed lettering pen, write in your own, more pleasing and continuity-appropriate version of the character's words. It will make your comic collection more individual, more continuity-conscious and much more creative and it will also allow you to edit and collaborate with your favorite writers."
Grant Morrison, trying to console readers after apologizing for a continuity glitch in New X-Men
"I've had a lot of things happen in my life that could be viewed as setbacks. Perhaps you could say I was abused. Manipulated. I've had other people do things to me to hurt me. To hurt those I've cared about. And the more I've focused on that part, and blamed others for the situation that I was in, or what was done to me, or focused on revenge: the more I found that I was a prisoner of those things. Like my own body was a cage of razor blades. That story of blame and cycle of fear and anger was the story that I was enacting.
But when I learned to shed the dents to my ego, and to focus on a sense of purpose and the good that I have experienced, I found that became my reality. That sense of purpose and positive intentions became the story that I was enacting. [...]
The part of you that thrives is the part that you feed the most."
Wolverine in Daredevil v2 #55 by David Mack
Some context is beneficial: Many of these quotes come from posts to Usenet newsgroups, which are -- in some ways -- like a universal message board system. "ATT" is alt.toys.transformers, the main Transformers newsgroup, and the one which I spend the most time in. Posts which depend on a Transformers context -- even a little -- are in the next subsection, but there are still a lot of ATT quotes in this section which are not TF-related. Lastly, most of my Usenet quotes are referenced with a string of characters called a Usenet Message-ID. If you stick it -- without the < and > -- into the appropriate field in this form you can look up the originals on Google.
[JASPER] IS THE UNDERWATER HABITAT SECURED AND STATIONARY? IF NOT, WILL THE HURRICANE LURKING CLOSE BY CAUSE IT TO ROLL AROUND? IF SO, WILL YOU NEED TO 'GET A BUCKET'?
The habitat is quite secure on the bottom but a major storm surge could probably move it. However, by that time we will be quite far away and dry. Nothing however can save us from the giant squid which is currently attacking us.
a random netizen and Hollywood director James Cameron in an online chat; Cameron was visiting an underwater NASA habitat
"There isn't a clear consensus that crossposted cascades are abuse of the net."
David Formosa defending rogue Usenet provider Altopia in NANAU (news.admin.net-abuse.usenet, the newsgroup where network administrators discuss newsgroup abuse)
I have ripped about every decent song I own off the 400 some odd CD's I have and tucked them all away in an MP3 folder so that I do not have to get up and put the CD in the stereo and hit the button. The stereo, might I add, is a whopping five paces away from my computer. Shoot me now.
a posting on Slashdot.org
M "We COULD Be Doing Other Things, Like... Umm... Drawing. Or Masturbating." Sipher
M Sipher, signing a post about the time it takes to prepare art
Scale, yes. But the Sun is a crucial element to the Earth. If there were no Earth then the Sun's importance would be dramatically less, theoretically.
a truly bizarre post to ATT
NEGATIVE STEVE-O: We know. We can tell. You don't have to keep makeing commets about everything you say. It makes you look redunderant.
"Negative Steve-o" (my evil twin?) in an odd ATT humor fic
I've wasted a lot of my life trying to fit in and to be accepted by others.
Paul Hunt in a post to Bigbelly's INFP mailing list
Your incessant cursing and failure to reply properly gives me the impression that you, frankly, don't know anything about anything. So, the only logical action is that I killfile you. So long. *PLONK*
Joona Palaste on ATT in <959mme$8bp$1@oravannahka.helsinki.fi>
I'd like to see this whole idea explored further by someone more eloqent and deeper thinking than myself.
Recharge on ATT in <93d7hm$6h8$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
I also find I'm not fond of Our Heroes being merely somebody's cosmic pawns in a pre-ordained stageplay. It negates the concept of free will, which I guess on some level makes the characters into non-entitites, really, which on a fundamental level basically sucks.
Rob Powers on ATT in <slrn9idaai.990.repowers@alpha2.csd.uwm.edu>
While I'd like to repeat many of the reasons I explained in my last post, I doubt such a thing would be a sharp enough sword to pierce the heart of your seemingly indomitable ignorance.
Tengu on ATT in <MPG.1674c0f55a04430b989680@news.optonline.net>
I wish Lucas & Co. would get the thing going a little faster. I can't really imagine waiting until 1997 to see all nine parts of the Star Wars series.
Randal Schwartz in <bnews.azure.913>, the earliest known Usenet post about "Return of the Jedi". It was posted in June 1982. Such a charmingly short Message-ID.
"Jesus could stop a million Cobra Commanders, Robert!"
from a parody of a Jack Chick tract on X-Entertainment.com, a pop culture reverence site
If you don't want this, you shouldn't be reading the site.
Matt on X-Entertainment.com, announcing a giveaway for a very special prize: a bank shaped like the Boo-Berry ghost
Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who askes: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am."
I do not know what is wrong with Heisenberg. He seems so sure of himself lately. -- Sydney Harris Cartoon
two quantum mechanics jokes sent by Maria Stefanis in the BU astronomy library's weekly email memo
Sometime around the 30th or 40th floor, we passed the first firefighters coming up the stairs. They reassured people that we were safe and that we would all get out fine. By this point, they were already absolutely breathless, but still pushing upward, slowly and unyieldingly, one step at a time. I could only imagine how tired they were, carrying their axes, hoses and heavy outfits and climbing up all those stairs. Young men started offering the firemen to carry up their gear for a few flights, but they all refused. EACH and EVERY ONE of them.
from a 9/11 testimonial by one "Cary Sheih"
It's not about _finding_ some mythical pre-existing meaning. It's about the challenge of _creating_ a meaning that broadens a children's cartoon into something deeper and more satisfying to the twentysomething mind. It's about some damned intellectual fun, the spirit of which is ruined when someone decides the spell must be broken with the mindless reproachment that "it's only a cartoon." As though we're all supposed to just slap our foreheads, chuckle with epiphany, and give up this silly game because _we're_ somehow the ones who missed the point.
Jackpot on 2001/06/02 in ATT
God is often conceived of as existing outside of the universe as we know it, so he's not bound by any of its rules. To me, this makes the whole concept literally unthinkable, beyond discussion or thought of any kind.
Jackpot on ATT in <3B4B60F2.3419B0BC@SPAMBEGONEmy-deja.com>
ATT isn't the universe's only form of communication.
Polaris on ATT in <3C4B8A29.296E68C@lycos.confabulate>, explaining why posts about things other than Transformers can be made in places other than the Transformers newsgroup
I think that, when you look beyond the surface appearances and the physical action, the message that the director is trying to convey with this scene is that it was a really big explosion.
a quote in one variation of Rob Powers' ever-changing .sig
I've started small, imposing my Vegan program on my five cats, by feeding them a wholesome diet of veggies and tofu. Though three of them have run away, and the other two died of a mysterious ailment, I have strong hopes for eventual success. After all, this _is_ the future of activism.
Eric Tolle, in <3B4FA434.2C9A6729@silcom.com>
Yes, it's true! I'm the author of ping... If I'd known then that it would be my most famous accomplishment in life, I might have worked on it another day or two and added some more options.
"Mike", in his "the story of the PING program" webpage
"But it's capitalism!" Well capitalism can blow me. Capitalism is what leads corporations to close down US manufacturing plants, crippling the towns that lived around them, and setting up shop in countries where labor laws don't exist. Capitalism has given us medical insurance that's based entirely on giving the most aid to the people least likely to need it. Capitalism is why companies will ignore pollution laws because the fines they have to pay are far less than the cost of cleaning up their act.
Jackpot in <Xns922F9899BE16Fjackpot@216.174.194.50>
Ultimately, it works the way it does because it's the way plastic exterior transtemporal mechanics function when you're dealing with omni-dimensional ripple effects triggered at the end of a continuum packet.
esteemed comic book author Kurt Busiek in <20010218132221.12316.00001337@ng-fz1.aol.com>
Q from you: Why you make naked lizards and dead nazis?
A from SQD: Well I went online and searched for free alien anime porn.I found out that I had to pay to see other peoples art work on anime aliens having sex on people,so I said thats it I want to do something that no one had dare to do.Free anime alien porn.See all the butt nakedness as you want.Of course I couldn't put all of them up because scanning is hard work.Anyways I've gone to other web pages it's either I have to pay or sign up for some membership shit.It's like I'm tried of that.I want a site that gives me naked lizard and naked dead nazi leaders pics for free.This is also the reason why I wanted to make a site. I was just tried looking for free porn.
from the Saurian-Loving Dinosaur-Girl's website FAQ
"Gilligan's Island" spoke to the human condition. As allegory, as a microcosm of humanity, they were stuck together on the island, as we of humankind are stuck together on earth. The bourgeoisie, the two (male-percieved) facets of Womanhood as either the lustful harlot or the childlike innocent, the intelligentsia, the working-class proletariat and the bumbling Everyman, all of the castaways are individual archetypes of modern Western civilization. The Professor could not fix the hole in the boat, any more than humanity could return to the state of the innocence of Eden. The SS Minnow represents how our technology has taken us away from the source of life itself, while the radio (all media) keeps us in contact with that innocence, forever reminding us of it while not bringing us any closer to it. "Gilligan's Island" was definitively one of the finest examples of existentialist tragedy of the post-war era.
Ron Bauerle in <DB0M3t.CEs@erie.ge.com>
Perhaps companies that think they can force us to listen to their messages - their banners, their interruptive graphic crawls over the pages we're trying to read - will realize that our ability to flit from site to site is built into the Web's architecture. They might as well just put up banners that say "Hi! We don't understand the Internet. Oh, and, by the way, we hate you."
from "World of Ends" (worldofends.com)
The degree to which you agree with my opinions is, in my estimation, a measure of your intelligence and insight.
one of Zobovor's sigs
I see Fox also has a cartoon titled Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, but the lead character doesn't look a bit like Jack Kirby.
Jonas Grumby on the comics groups in <e128c4e9.0306021129.5463c096@posting.google.com>, in a discussion of the Kirby tribute episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Student 2 (11 year-old who lived in Oregon for two years): A biologist.
Me: Why?
S2: Because I like animals.
Me: So why a biologist? Why not, say, a vet?
S2: I want to research animals. And make new ones.
Me: New ones? Like what?
S2: Birds.
Me: What kind of birds?
S2: Like... a phoenix.
Me: A phoenix?!
S2: And dragons.
Me: ...
Me: I'm not sure those are really birds...
Katie Menick's blog about living and teaching English in Japan
The exploitation of grief by those who pretend to talk to the dead breaks my heart.
Penn of Penn & Teller, on the website for their Showtime series, "Bullshit!", which debunks claims of magic and the paranormal, answering the question "Which segments do you personally connect with the most?"
But artists are (or can be) special people...we have lots of very nice, good people who work in assembly lines making widgets...but we've only had one Beethoven, one Bach, one Spielberg, one Whedon.
JMS in <20030630041031.17992.00001386@mb-m12.aol.com>, putting THE JOSS in some good company ^_^ (JMS created "Babylon 5" and writes a lot of comics)
If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one.
someone's sig on Slashdot
I'm not perfect or saved, baby. So suck it.
Wil Wheaton on his blog (wilwheaton.net), explaining his feelings about a t-shirt reading "Not perfect, just saved"; July 24 2003
We do not condone the use of our Bonsai Kittens for warmaking purposes.
Bonsaikitten.com's Q&A page
Do you still like me being overly concerned, so much that I care about your financial status and want you to prosper along with me ?
If you would like to make at least $50,000 in less than 90 days and $500,000 every 4 to 5 months!!!!!!! Please read the enclosed program...THEN READ IT AGAIN !!!
MLM spam from a non-english speaker
There's a reasoned and sensible opinion. I can tell by the use of the words "garbage" and "wank."
Brain Saunders on rec.arts.comics.marvel-universe in post <np2gkv0fu7p7lqsbhbj36jpafe62svdmfj@4ax.com>
Do not deal with Planetforce@aol.com, he is fraud and made deaf discrimination. He has lack of professiional and he has no common sense. he can rip off you.
ATT post <20030820133912.08001.00000925@mb-m06.aol.com>. I make no claims about this Planetforce guy. Never heard of him, and I'm not endorsing this claim. I just think the post is really funny.
<Susp> As an educator, I feel an urge to shove my metre stick through his throat.
Daniel "Suspsy" Suh in IRC on 6 Dec 2003
* Thylacine2000 reads the TFormers boards.
<Thylacine2000> You know.....
<Thylacine2000> Too few people are getting raped by junkies, catching AIDS, and dying.
Matt "Thylacine 2000" Greenbaum in IRC
Favorite Pizza Topping?
Garlic !! (Score:5, Insightful)
by Markvs (17298) on Tuesday January 20, @05:49PM (#8037088)
The perfect addition to any meal.
From a Slashdot poll on 21 Jan 2004; I love that this comment was modded as "insightful"
Some context is beneficial: All of these comments are Transformers related, whether entirely or just a little. There are definitely still things in here that non-fans will will find amusing, so don't feel the need to skip over them all. I just separated them out from the other online section because there are so many of them. Many of these quotes come from posts to Usenet newsgroups, which are -- in some ways -- like a universal message board system. "ATT" is alt.toys.transformers, the main Transformers newsgroup. Also, many quotes here are referenced with a string of characters called a Usenet Message-ID. If you stick it -- without the < and > -- into the appropriate field in this form you can look up the originals on Google.
Rhinox: I built a machine to part the Red Sea.
Moses: Great job! Let's go, people!
from "World's Worst Fanfic: Rhinox and Rattrap's Bogus Journey"
Really every piece one sees of a character, must be taken as adding to the whole, otherwise it's too easy to dismiss a show of loyalty and friendship among Decepticons, for instance, as "just one meaningless scene," or dismiss a significant line of dialogue as "just one piece that doesn't really contain the character." Then we'd get into fighting about *which* scenes do or do not "contain the character." *All* of them must, just as each of our daily actions are part of our lives. We can't just dismiss cruel words or a thoughtless act as "that wasn't really me" -- no, "it *was* me, but I was having a bad day." Big difference....
Raksha in an ATTCMod post
The bible does have some inspirational stories (such as David and Goliath), but then again, so does Beast Wars.
Whirlaway on ATT in <iqmpOYMTY8CMVXteM6hXfmID+u8H@4ax.com>
Characters yelling-out their attacks as they deliver them is an animation standard, omnipresent because it's what kids like. *I* like it, too. It's funny and charming in its own overly-earnest way. "Fusion Fire! Blaze Blast! Sonic Pain-Wave!" I mean, c'mon, SONIC PAIN-WAVE. You HAVE to respect that.
Matt Greenbaum on ATT in <3B9AA0FD.61284BF6-rtt@hotmail.com>
M Sipher wrote: Fuck NEW stuff. Innovative, fun to play with, well designed toys? Go away. Let's drag out some more G1 molds again!
Because everyone loves G1. _EVERYONE_. I mean, who wants to have new toys that are original, posable, and look damn good? Who wants to continue on with new mythos, new stories, new characters, and new adventures to enjoy for all ages? WE WANT A BIG, RED FACE ON EVERY TOY. That is what Transformers is about, baby. A big, red face.
HooksX on ATT in <maFA6.499$PM5.74085@paloalto-snr1.gtei.net>
They're presented in a fashion that is remarkably odd and downright silly.
Tengu, discussing the cheesy English dubs of Asia-exclusive TF cartoons
Jen One wrote: and how is it a disguise for a shark to fly though the air and dig in the ground???
Well, it's like a police Lamborghini...it may seem odd in the U.S., but they're fairly common in Japan.
Paul Segal in ATT
My demographic consists of one person, and it's not Hasbro or Takara's duty to serve me.
Jackpot, on ATT in <20010710003042.04044.00003297@ng-mc1.aol.com>
What it really amounts to, I think, is that I've got too damned many toys.
Zobovor on ATT in <20010821041124.20173.00005495@ng-bh1.aol.com>
There's a difference between walking out on the street and saying "Optimus Prime is a monkey now" and "Your mother's a whore."
Walky on ATT in <ovCe8.3367$A%3.40143@ord-read.news.verio.net>
On a morbid note, if i were ever to be diagnosed as terminally ill, getting gunned down holding Megatron could perhaps be the most glorious way for a Transfan to go.
"Jeremiah" in <bef433c3.0203111855.1f59233e@posting.google.com>
As I said, changes are made as they go along, so therefore: IGA show Hasbro their version of Smokescreen, Hasbro are all like "dude, WTF?" and IGA correct it.
Morg in <TC2m8.11078$WP.2249188@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com>, discussing running production changes in Mexican TFs
"I read Steve's FAQ while relieving myself."
Recharge in a Radio Free Cybertron segment (he's talking about me)
Hot Rod is worth compromising my ideals for.
Aaron F Bourque in <20020605211457.02441.00001801@mb-cb.aol.com>
I think the G1 episodes had this quota on how much CLEVER they could fit into an episode. The reason Carnage in C Minor sucked so much is because they used up all their CLEVER on that one scene.
Walky in <2AuQ8.13027$Dn3.62598@dfw-read.news.verio.net>, regarding the Devastator vs. Broadside "fight"
The cannon shot at them both. They fought until morning. Unicron came to destroy Earth. Gears opened the matrix to put Autobot City back together.
from Bluestreak7's 2nd-grade TF fancomic
"I don't have any weapons, but for some reason I believe that running into eight heavily armed fighting machines will ensure my victory."
Brawn, in Matt Marshall's TF:TM parody
There it is folks -- the Transformers mythos is a Gestalt made up of a Multiforce-type army of Combiner continuities!
Grebo Guru on ATT in <b4895029.0308221523.55660802@posting.google.com>
<ItsWalky> I wish I had drills for hands, like TM Scavenger.
David "Walky" Willis in IRC on 2003-sep-09
Oliver Cromwell was a very intelligent man and could fly. He was a Protestant.
High-school friend Matt Jesick's response to a short-answer question on our 10th grade English final
"The R is the sign of the future."
Mrs. Tabish one day in French IV
"Is this what Hell is like?"
Brandy Swanson one day in French IV
"He's just inept."
"Sure, Brock. I'm inept, whatever that means."
Brock and JB at Becky Allshouse's graduation party
"You shouldn't be able to just change the square root of -1 because you want to."
Karla, upon learning that in electronics it's j, not i
"Things tend to be made of chemicals."
Jason, making fun of Sarah
"I would describe my greatest enemy as a combination of my former deskmate and my little brother."
Petre
"When I woke up this morning, I just felt like I was made of pure mucos."
Sarah
"You are an evil man."
Andre, speaking through his Russian accent, to fellow grad student David in Toledo
"The theorists can help with that, because they're not constrained by reality. They can do whatever they want."
Dr. Lee in Toledo
"I'm used to living in my own little world where I can boss myself around."
Sarah
"I can't burp. I can only vomit."
John Berry
"In America, everything is about cheese."
Juni, a native Kenyan
"What is that, some kind of bug?"
...
"You're some kind of big, fat, smart bug, aren't you?"
Darryl, one of my college roommates, looking at a "Grizzly Bear" M:TG card without his glasses, and Johnny Rico a few years later in "Starship Troopers". Darryl's statement was funny enough to us, but the parallel construction here is just too much.
"I've heard of education. I think education is good. I like it. Do you like it?" "Yes. But under the Bush plan, no."
Brock parodying the "town meeting" debate during the 2000 election
"Two-thousand six-hundred and twenty-five degrees?! That is so not the temperature of Pluto...!"
Lars, doing homework for our Radiative Processes class
"If someone from 7th grade were to call me up, I'd say... 'Who are you?'... because I don't [know] any 7th graders."
Seth Rosenblatt
fibrolyte and electrotacium
two pseudoscience ingrediants Ivan made up
"Why eat bad art?"
Brendan Britton, concluding his discussion of the parallels between cuisine and art
"Knowing that and feeling empowered to do something about it are totally different things."
"They're less different than most people seem to think. We all have the power to change our own minds. It just takes a little tenacity."
Brock and me, chatting on AIM
"You know, I'm really sort of disappointed with Christianity."
somebody at a BURN meeting (BURN = Boston University's Religion Nonbelievers)
"These are the irresponsible people who take drugs."
a very hypocritical Thanksgiving guest criticising the drug habits of others
I hope you still remember the pressure scale height equation. I can't believe I can still remember the name of it. If I thought about it, maybe I could even remember the equation. Man, whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' must have been talking about physics equations.
Valerie Maher, an ex-classmate in astronomy grad school, in an email she sent me after having left academia
Naïve value, ghost term, hopping parameter, cactus diagram, tadpole improvement. N-c is the number of colors, n-f is the number of flavors, and here, of course, is the clover interaction.
various terms and a full sentence from OSU grad student Yiannis Proestos' first colloquium
I saw him only once, alone on the prow
of a dream I had, with seaweed for hair, and hands
as heavy as the states he conquered...
the opening of Susanna Lamey's poem, "To the Argonaut, Home from his Journeys"
I don't understand what you're saying. If I did, I might agree, but I don't know.
Gordon Aubrecht in a weekly research group meeting
Also, there may have been many manufacturing errors in creating a perfect Orrery wall upon which to measure shadows to the lengths of the planets individual wires meant to set their orbits.
a student's lab report
The Greenhouse Effect is elements coming up from the Earth affecting our ozone layer. This ozone is created by amounts of oxygen, and it helps keep out infrared light from getting into our atmosphere. Albedo is a factor in the greenhouse effect. The Greenhouse effect makes the Earth warmer because the deteriorization of our ozone through man-made pollutants allows infrared light to enter our atmosphere.
an Astronomy 117 student at BU on their first exam; this is a rather low-scoring answer, FYI.
Farmers will have to buy their animals on the colony, no farm animals will be transported across outerspace. The colony animals that will be available for purchase will arrive in the donut as embyros.
a student's "ministry of agriculture" statement for their group space colony assignment in AS117. The hypothetical colony is donut-shaped. The way "outerspace" is written as one word, and the use of the term "donut" to refer to the colony, both make me smile.
I would like to live in such a situation because I would be the queen of a very rich colony who produced spacecrafts for me to travel anywhere.
Tara McKinley having fun with her individual space colony design assignment
If a prisoner attempts to cross these fences, the security cuff will alert the prison of the escape, identify his wherabouts, and send an electric shock through the prisoner's body, causing cardiac arrest and killing the escapee.
[...]
If you mean would I like to live on my own colony, I would like to live in the suburban area, maybe I'd own a book store, that would be nice.
Entertaining contrasts in Liz Fontaine's "William Jefferson Clinton Astro-Detention Facility", where she spends $60 trillion of her own money to build the colony and then settles down to run a bookstore.
The inhabitants will simply provide supportive loving energy to all those who are confused by their hungry egos. [...] This will no doubt allow our cooperative colony to raise the $1R to buy an intercolony transport that could potentially spread our love to other colonies. [...] ...a place of personal journey both physically and mentally. Our city will also have good coffee shops.
Dave Branigan's charmingly idealistic colony
In this tale, human life died out and instead stone statues took over the island. [...] The civilizations can "evolve" into a world controlled by stone-statues."
AS117 student in an exam question about the lesson of Easter Island
When your environment is obviously changing around you for the worse, stop whatever silly thing you are doing to destroy it. If crops are dying, stop cutting down trees instead of building more statues.
another answer, putting things in perspective