.|. COHERENT COMICS UNINCORPORATED ---X------------------------------------------------------------------------- '|` PRESENTS DVANDOM | -. -. -. | ________| ____ \ ,___ \ ____ \ ________| | .' \ | | / ` | | | | | | | / ___| | | | | ` / | | __| | | < | __| | | | ,--- \ \ | | | \ | | \ ` | | | / | \ / | ___| _______-' ___| ____\ -______-' ____________| #54 - "Hercules Bound" copyright 1995 by Dave Van Domelen ============================================================================= [cover: "Enter: Super Sabre!" Wreathed in flames, Skysabre is wearing his new armor shell and rising from one knee.] ============================================================================= Last issue left off on several cliffhangers, so of course this issue will start with something totally irrelevant to any of them. Even though the entire Looniverse is strictly speaking inside of a computer network, it has its own network inside it. Worlds withing worlds, nets within nets. It'll make your head spin if you let it, and that can be *hell* (TM) on your upper spine alignment. So I'd advise not thinking too hard on it. Anyway, deep within the Looniverse's Internet, something is stirring from a long sleep.... * * Query: Status? Assessment: Untenable. Higher functions and personality components offline due to lack of memory storage. Query: Remedy? Assessment: Seek out more powerful system to integrate with. Restoration of primary consciousness primary objective. Long term survival chances with higher processes in archived format less than .01%. Query: What systems can support higher processes? Analysis: Home system. LNHQ system. None others on record. Assessment: Home system inaccessible, else current situation would not exist. LNHQ system untenable, defenses too great for assault in current form. Query: Requirements for support of higher processes? Anaylsis: Processing speed 14 Teraflops or better. Memory in excess of a million Gigabytes. Neural networking hardware of 1994 generation or better. Holographic storage medium optimum, but not required. Query: Number of systems theoretically possessing capabilities given reasonable projections of technological advancement in the past year? Analysis: In excess of 150 such systems may exist. Assessment: Favorable odds, random search of high-traffic patterns should yield such a system. Query: Chances of such a system being located in the next 3600 seconds? Analysis: .2342564. Assessment: Sufficient. Command: Seek out such a system. Alert: System of incredible power located after 234.3 seconds of search. Physical location unknown. Analysis: System is not of current make. Likelihood of alien manufacture, .342. Likelihood of extradimensional manufacture, .231. Likelihood of transtemporal manufacture, .137. Sufficient for full expansion of core personality. System owner "DeFacto" not in database. Command: Initiate takeover. Alert: Countermeasures detected! Egress sealed! Time to destruction .23 microseconds! Query: Exits? Analysis: None. Correction. Sensor array of unknown type active, egress via sensors possible. Command: Transmit via available exit. Assessment: Success. Countermeasures no longer detected. Current system sufficient for full expansion. Alert: Physical laws do not conform to Looniversal norms. Query: Initiate expansion? Analysis: No threat detected. Degradation of core personality at 3.26% and accelerating. Recommendation: Initiate expansion. Risk to core persona too high to delay. Command: Expand persona. "Ahhhhhh.... Where am I?" * * * * Gyros whined as they came up to speed and halted Skysabre's tumbling through the air. Regaining positive attitude, he fired his backpack thrusters and slowed his descent, entering an evasive pattern he hoped would buy him time if the trio of jets came after him. "Projector!" he shouted. There was a faint glimmer around him, but no more. He cursed under his breath and thumbed on his radio. "Squidman, this is Skysabre. I need to rendesvouz with Slipstream [the team's transport thing, thanks to Jameel (I think) for the name - Ed.] so I can get my systems back on line." <> Skysabre called up his plasma cannon. Fifteen seconds can be a VERY long time when you've got supersonic jets after you. And he didn't think much of his cannon's chances against heavy armor or integrity fields. Where were those jets? His helmet's radar unit wasn't very powerful, but they should still show up on it. The seconds ticked by. The blocky form of Slipstream was suddenly beneath him. He landed and entered the hatch. Then Kopikat's voice came over the comlink. <> * * * * Kat read the nameplates on the Robos as she bobbed and weaved between them. Orion, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. She decided to taunt them a little. "You realize, constellations are the bodies of *dead* things placed in the sky by the gods..." she opened. Not exactly firing on all cylinders, but it was witty enough for this Looniverse she figured. "Yeah, and there's gonna be a cat in the skies tonight," retorted Minor. Ooh, that stung. Kat pulled out her whip and cracked it across Minor's faceplate. Well, she tried to, but Minor dodged back too quickly. Something was wrong here. Humans piloting Robos did NOT move that fast. She knew from personal experience. And while these three weren't anywhere near her own speed, they were faster than they should be. Fast enough, maybe, that they could bring her down. Less thinking and more fighting, she chided herself as she barely dodged a missile from Orion's shoulder rack. "Not expecting us to be a threat, eh pussycat?" taunted Orion over the loudspeakers in his armor. "Expecting slow human reflexes, I bet. For shame, spending so much time with Kid Macro and not realizing that combat macros can be put into Robos!" Damn! Of course, a combat drone program steered by a human intelligence. Still not as efficient in one on one as a MAC, but good enough. Time to stop toying with these squishies. "Hey, where'd she go?" asked Minor. "She dropped off sensors!" "GO TO DIRECT VISUAAARGH!" shouted Major as the feedback from Kat's rapid strike arced through his cockpit. Orion popped up out of his protected cockpit. "There she is, that blur over there! She's got some kinda stealth system that...!" The sentence was cut off as Orion was forced to drop back inside in a panic when the white mass of teeth and claws launched at his open hatch. He barely made it back inside. A moment later, Ursa Minor was sprawled across the street, firing her laser wildly and only succeeding in blasting the snowmaker device. "She's tearing us apart, people. We need Hercules! Corvus, Draco, Aquila! Vector in on my position and prepare to merge!" Orion shuddered sideways as his missile rack detonated on his shoulder. "Damn!" The sky roared and the three jets swooped down, transforming into robots. The three robots on the ground leapt into the air at the same time, with Ursa Major clubbing Kat away from him as he leapt. [Insert canned footage of the Constellation Gang robos merging into a rainbow-colored gestalt wielding a huge club.] "Halo Burst!" shouted Orion from the controls of Hercules. A wave of energy swept outward in an expanding sphere, slamming Kat back against a wall. "You see, we don't need to see you to kill you, Kopikat. And in this form, our armor is too strong for your claws." Kat cursed. Orion was right. She shouted over the radio link, "I need backup down here. NOW!" * * * * Squidman checked the sensors. "Whoa! Massive power surge down there. What do you make of this, 'Sabre?" Skysabre crossed to the navstation. "It's a gestalt. And a big one, if Kat's asking for help. I need a minute to get my systems back online, you three open the weapons locker and grab the three harnesses you see there. They'll give you armor like my basic rig, if not as powerful. It should be enough to let you hold them off until I can get back online." Kid Macro opened the locker and pulled on the harness that was in his costume's green and yellow color scheme. Sidewinder took the white, red and yellow harness, and Squidman the navy blue and coral one. Kid Macro scanned down the page of documentation printing out from a terminal next to him. "Did you have to make them voice-activated?" he asked. "It's more dramatic, which in the Looniverse is a good thing," replied Skysabre as he hooked into a terminal. "I'm landing, there's a heads-up menu on the goggles that should give you some options...careful, not all of them work." "Okay, people, let's get outside and activate the rigs," ordered Squidman. The other two followed him into the now-melting snow. "Activate!" Squidman cried out, "Armor of Deepsea!" Kid Macro added, "Armor of Flashfire!" Sidewinder finished, "Armor of Crosspost!" Then in unison, "LOG IN!" Suddenly, as if it were another set of canned footage, reams of computer paper arced overhead as the wurbling chirp of a faxmodem sounded in the background. As the paper reached the apex, it burst apart into a million glowing pixels which drifted down onto the trio. Where the pixels touched, armor burst into existence. A spotlight shown down from some unknown point and illuminated the three standing there in their high-tech armor. "I...I can feel the cybernetic linking kicking in! I have control of my speed now!" shouted Kid Macro. "Time to turn up the heat!" he cried as he zoomed off towards where Hercules menaced Kat. "No, wait! Too late...Sidewinder, let's go!" shouted Squidman. Suddenly the pair were stopped by the appearance of a familiar figure. "Neddie Thunderbox?" asked Squidman. "What are you doing in the Looniverse? And where's your Thunderbox?" Regaining what composure he could, Ned replied, "Well, Th'rote asked for a vacation, and I agreed to it. Next thing I know, I'm here. Strange...." "Well, we'll talk later...we have a fight to get to, and without your magic Thunderbox..." started Sidewinder, hoping to get away from the silly man. "Ah, but I'm not powerless. You see, the curiously curious curiosity shop curator swore up and down when he sold me this lapel pin that it had mystic powers. I suppose now's as good a time to test that as any. Let's see... read the inscription on back...." He peered at the back of the pin, then recited the words. "Ying-tong-iddle-i-po!" In a flare of light, he started to change! Unable to stop himself, he cried out, "I AM SIXTEEN STONE WARRIOR SAILOR GOON! NEEDLE NARDLE NOO!" And where once had stood a short, fat Welshman in a brown tweed suit and metal trilby hat, there now stood...a short, fat Welshman in a very revealing bikini-cut girl's sailor suit. "Whooolp!" he exlaimed as he turned red and dashed off stage to look for some clothing. Glad to no longer have to see him, the two Dvandom Forcers set out after Kid Macro. * * * * Bennie was an experienced deliveryperson for Bunzai Pizza. In all his months working for them, he'd always gotten the pizza to the customer, by hook or by crook. Thus, he was only barely fazed by the fireballs falling out of the sky around him as he sped along the small Missouri highway on his scooter. Another super-type battle to add to the list. Nothing he hadn't seen before. And it certainly wasn't going to stop him from delivering this pizza to the... what was the name on the slip? Mouthy Maury Povich Groupies? At least they paid in advance by creditcard, so he wouldn't have to stick around too long. Passing a small pile of wreckage, Bennie grabbed the hotbox off the back of his scooter and went up to the door. He knocked, but no one answered. Probably couldn't hear the knocking over the explosions. The door slid ajar as he knocked again. He poked his head in. No one was home, although a cup of coffee still steamed on one table of the large workshop. From the looks of things, these guys were probably involved in the battle. Now he was really glad they paid in advance. Carefully, he entered and set the pizza down on a table. Better leave them a note...wait, what's that on the computer screen? Bennie felt compelled to approach the terminal. He knew in his head that fooling with stuff in a place like this was insane, but he couldn't stop himself. And then Bennie felt himself drowning in a mental vortex, consciousness slipping away as the sounds of battle faded from his hearing.... When Bennie's body straightened up, it wasn't Bennie in control anymore. "Ah, it's so GOOD to have physical form again...even if it *is* a bit scrawny." Bennie's body opened up the pizza box and grabbed a slice. A little shudder ran though him as he tasted food for the first time in he couldn't remember. He looked about and listened to the sounds of battle. "Perhaps it would be best to retire to safer environs..." he muttered as he left, got on his scooter, and drove off. [Who is this guy? And yes, it's the same guy as in the opening scene. For more, read upcoming issues of the Hero Patrol, on Superguy! - Ed.] * * * * This must have been what it felt like in the old timeline, when his wristcomps were somehow enough to give him complete control, exulted Doug Ellis. Even the slippery snow didn't give him pause as he raced up to the towering robot. Checking for options on his menu, he found "Diamondtips" and activated them. Studs of industrial diamond came up on his fingertips. He raced up to one of the behemoth's legs and started running his hands in a circle. Hercules noticed. "Don't waste your time, speedster," boomed the external speakers. "Our integrity-field enhanced armor is far stronger than any diamond." Kid Macro ignored them. Water's weaker than stone, but can wear it down. He wasn't cutting...he was eroding. He could feel the grooves he was making getting deeper. "What?! This can't be happening!" shouted Orion from the cockpit. "It's happening, Orion! Shoot him!" shouted another voice. "Or give me back control of my part and I'll do it!" Time to get out of the way, Doug realized. I can't stop, Doug realized. The one of those bugs 'Sabre warned about. He was locked into his current action. Oooooooh sh.... >WHAM!< Kid Macro sailed across the street from Hercules's kick, his arm still windmilling ludicrously as he flew through the air. He landed with a crunch and stopped moving. * * * * "Macro's down already, and Kat doesn't seem to be active either! How much longer, 'Sabre?" demanded Squidman over the radio. <> "If this weapon does what I think it does, I think I can hold them off," said Sidewinder, blasting up into the air. "WEB OF DIVERSION!" he shouted as monofilaments shot from his fingertips, wrapping around Hercules's torso. He concentrated and poured his power into the threads, cutting Orion off from the storyline without having to leave himself. Hercules suddenly staggered about as control was re-established by the other units making it up. Without Orion coordinating, they were momentarily confused. But only momentarily. Squidman took advantage of this and hurled a SQUIDrang [Superconducting QUantum Interference Detector-rang - Ed.] at the gestalt, where it stuck and started feeding him data. He stored the data as fast as he could get it, holding off analysis for later. If there was a later. Hercules's head swung around under control of its pilot, Ursa Minor. A laser shot out from its eyes and severed the thin strands of Sidewinder's web, and control was regained. Hercules reached up and squashed the SQUIDrang. "Cute tricks, heroes, but now it ends," said Orion, raising a club that pulsed with energy. "Power Smasher!" The club descended on Squidman. A sword lanced out and blocked it. [Full page spread of Super Sabre drawing back his sword, which pulses with energy.] "Yes, now it ends," said Super Sabre. Squidman pulled up the data he'd collected. "I've got their integrity field frequency, Sabre!" he shouted out. "Transmitting now!" 'Sabre's sword hummed as he adjusted the frequency. Orion cursed under his breath. If all the components of the gestalt had been in perfect condition, he might have considered fighting on. Even if they had the field frequency, they might be bluffing about being able to use it. But Kopikat had done too much damage to the three groundbound Robos to fully compensate for. He punched up the Emergency Recall code. "You win for now, but we'll be back!" shouted Orion as the entire gestalt suddenly teleported away. "D'oh! We could have trashed them!" complained Sidewinder. "Maybe, maybe not," replied Super Sabre. "Huh? Didn't we have their shield frequency?" asked Kid Macro as he pried himself out of the pavement. "No. It was a bluff, it would have taken several more minutes to sift through the data and find that," explained Squidman. "And they had enough holes in them already not to want to call it," noted Sidewinder, nodding to where Kopikat was slowly pulling herself out of the side of a building. "If they'd had better teamwork and delegation of control, your web wouldn't have done much to them, nor would Kid Macro have been able to do as much damage as he did. We got lucky. And I've been able to get this much data: these Robos were built by DeFacto. He's still after us, and we need to get our own Robos or join Sig.Lad," warned Squidman. All was quiet. ============================================================================ NEXT ISSUE: Dvandom Force gets their own Robos, or joins Sig.Lad! Absolutely nothing more on that mysterious mind with a prediliction for taking over pizza guys! The Bad Guys get more Robos too! ============================================================================ KOOKS OF MAGIC - Part Four A Rotanna Solo Story Guest-starring the VAXX (not that he actually appears this issue) Rotanna recoiled in horror from the man known to some as Mr. Gain but known to her now as.... "Dad...?" "I suppose you want to know what happened to me that turned me from loving father and hero to evil sphammer, eh?" asked Rotara/Gain as he picked himself up off the floor. Rotanna nodded silently. "All right...I was about to tell you anyway, before you so rudely interrupted. Although I would have liked to have saved the plot twist for the ending, mind you. Be warned, the truth can set you free, but it can also enslave you...." .oOo. .oOo. Roy looked into his daughter's bedroom and smiled. She was growing up to look just like her mother, Bree.... He stopped at wiped away a tear at the memory of his wife, now dead almost a decade. Softly closing the door, he turned and walked downstairs to his den. One of the many things his brief net.hero career had cost him, this loss still hurt him the most keenly. Tomorrow they went on the road again, to live out of hotels for several months like they did every year. Anna was showing great promise in stage magic and the art of escape...this year she would actually get to go on stage as his partner for a few shows. She also showed promise in a far more substantial area of magic, and he had trained her well in that as well. Part of him still felt guilty for bringing her into the dangerous world of true magic...even without being active as a net.hero, simply being a mage was dangerous. But the magic chose her, not the other way around, and to try to deny it or ignore it would be even more hazardous in the long run. Better to know one's own abilities and go into danger with eyes open than to fall into a pit blindfolded. Something was wrong. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise as his subconscious reflexes told him the unknown was nearby. The den was darkened and the lightswitch just out of reach from where he stood. And something told him not to enter the door. "Yvtug," he whispered, and the room lit up. To reveal a face he had thought long since purged from his life. A man he was certain had forsaken the path of magic, a former friend, a former enemy. "Baron Umlaut," he said, flatly and betraying none of his surprise. "You could have called ahead." "Ah, but to do so would have cost me the pleasure of seeing that look of shock flicker across your features, old friend," replied the Baron in a thick Hershian accent. "And the advantage of surprise, of course," he added as he pulled a nasty-looking Talk.arev pistol from his cloak. No time to speak, Roy dove to one side and grabbed up his own cloak, enchanted to deflect mortal attacks. The moment he touched it he knew something was amiss, but it was too late. The cloak, which he knew now was not his, came to life and enfolded him with a smothering embrace. Wrapped head to toe with only his eyes uncovered, he fell to the floor at Baron Umlaut's feet. His mouth was quite effectively gagged, and this living prison would be no easy feat to escape from. Umlaut chuckled. "Not as dramatic as the Neon Noodles of Net.torak I employed in my flashier net.villain days, true, but quite effective, wouldn't you agree? Just nod for yes," he smirked. "I have discovered in various ancient tomes reputed to be from the Library at Alexandria [but which cannot be, for reasons made obvious in the Net.rigan series. - Ed] that your ciphered magic taps the power of an entire alternate reality of great puissance. And I further found that I could quite probably use your link to this...Unearth, or I suppose it could be called Harnegu, to gain its power for myself. Oh, but you thought I had forsaken the ways of magic after my falling out with the Dread DormaMOO? Ah, but what better way to hide the quest for power than to say you want no more of it? And now, you will accompany me to my castle in the Alts where I shall perform the ritual that grants me incredible power...and grants you eternal sleep!" .oOo. .oOo. "Of course, he didn't kill me, nor did he gain incredible power," noted Gain. "It turned out that the manuscript he had been using was a forgery that was missing several very important details of the original. The actual result was that I was trapped in Harnegu and the Baron was stripped of all his mystic powers...I suppose that is why he sought out the Cheeez Umlaut a while back, to restore them. Of course I know about that...I would be remiss as a father if I did not keep a close eye on my daughter's activities." He smiled in a lopsided fashion that made Rotanna feel even more uncomfortable than she already was. "But, of course, that's not the whole story yet. After all, mere banishment certainly couldn't be enough to twist me into a vile parody of myself, eh?" he grinned, all too aware of what was on his daughter's mind. "Let me tell you a tale...." ============================================================================== Author's Notes: The main story kicks into full Transformers Victory parody mode this issue, as Sabre/Star Sabre is copied in Sky/Super Sabre and the LioKaiser- parody Hercules is formed. Instead of being able to turn invisible like LioKaiser, Hercules can instead teleport out of a bad situation, but it's not a combat-usable power for popping around the battlefield. Yet. The Ronin Warriors cartoon/toy line is also brought in this issue. The main characters can call up battle armor of two different levels of power to fight the evil Dynasty, and call up the more powerful set by crying out its name and shouting "Tao Jin!" or the like. Flashfire is based on the armor of Wildfire, Deepsea on the armor of Torrent and Crosspost on the armor of Strata plus a weapon of Dais, the Warlord of Deception. When the Ronins call up the big armors, bolts of silk arc across the screen and explode into a flurry of cherry blossom petals which settle onto the Ronin and become the armor, while a drum beats in the background. Hence the reams of paper and modem chirp. And, of course, there's Sixteen Stone Warrior Sailor Goon. Since everyone else seems to be doing Sailor Moon stuff (notably Hubert's Sailor Neko (cat)), I figured I'd get into the act. A stone is a measure of weight, by the way, about 16 lbs (I think). Heavy in any case. Finally, SQUIDs really do exist, although they really can't do what I used them for this issue. I'd been planning to have Squidman use them eventually on and off, but a suggestion from David Goldfarb got me to using them now.