Say No To X
Date: Thu, 10 Aug 89 14:56:41 edt
From: a friend
Subject: Another amusing BosticGram...

These fliers were being scattered from the balconies at the SIGGRAPH
		   Official Notice, Post Immediately
				X     x
				 X   x
				  X x
				  x X 
				 x   X
				x     X
			    Dangerous Virus!
First, a little history.  The X window system escaped from Project Athena
at MIT where it was being held in isolation.  When notified, MIT stated
publicly that "MIT assumes no resonsibility...".  This is a very
disturbing statement.  It then infiltrated Digital Equipment Corporation,
where it has since corrupted the technical judgement of this organization.
After sabotaging Digital Equipment Corporation, a sinister X consortium
was created to find a way to use X as part of a plan to dominate and
control interactive window systems.  X windows is sometimes distributed
by this secret consortium free of charge to unsuspecting victims.  The
destructive cost of X cannot even be guessed.
X is truly obese - whether it's mutilating your hard disk or actively
infesting your system, you can be sure it's up to no good.  Innocent
users need to be protected from this dangerous virus.  Even as you read
this, the X source distribution and the executable environment is being
maintained on hundreds of computers, maybe even your own.
Digital Equipment Corporation is already shipping machines that carry
this dreaded infestation.  It must be destroyed.
This is what happens when software with good intentions goes bad.  It
victimizes innocent users by distorting their perception of what is and
what is not good software.  This malignant window system must be
Ultimately DEC and MIT must be held accountable for this heinous *software
crime*, brought to justice, and made to pay for a *software cleanup*.  Until
DEC and MIT answer to these charges, they both should be assumed to be
protecting dangerous software criminals.
Don't be fooled!  Just say no to X.
[The following is in extremely fine print across the bottom of the page]
X windows. A mistake carried out to perfection.
X windows. Dissatisfaction guaranteed.
X windows. Don't get frustrated without it.
X windows. Even your dog won't like it.
X windows. Flaky and built to stay that way.
X windows. Complex nonsolutions to simple nonproblems.
X windows. Flawed beyond belief.
X windows. Form follows malfunction.
X windows. Garbage at your fingertips.
X windows. ignorance is our most important resource.
X windows. It could be worse, but it'll take time.
X windows. It could happen to you.
X windows. Japan's secret weapon.
X windows. Let it get in *your* way.
X windows. Live the nightmare.
X windows. More than enough rope.
X windows. Never had it, never will.
X windows. No hardware is safe.
X windows. Power tools for power fools.
X windows. Power tools for power losers.
X windows. Putting new limits on productivity.
X windows. Simplicity made complex.
X windows. The cutting edge of obsolescence.
X windows. The art of incompetence.
X windows. The defacto substandard.
X windows. The first fully modular software disaster.
X windows. The joke that kills.
X windows. The problem for your problem.
X windows. There's got to be a better way.
X windows. Warn your friends about it.
X windows. You'd better sit down.
X windows. You'll envy the dead.

Back to humor page.
Bryan Dunlap / Physics Dept. / The Ohio State University