From quag_prime@hotmail.com Fri May 17 19:22:06 2002 Path: nntp.service.ohio-state.edu!diablo1.net.ohio-state.edu!news.cis.ohio-state.edu!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!ucberkeley!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.stanford.edu!postnews1.google.com!not-for-mail From: quag_prime@hotmail.com (Quag Prime) Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers Subject: Re: I Truly Hate This Fandom Date: 17 May 2002 14:48:16 -0700 Organization: http://groups.google.com/ Lines: 74 Message-ID: References: <3CE2E7F8.5FDE@NOSPAM.knoledge.org> <3CE3FF74.253B@NOSPAM.knoledge.org> <%Q4F8.2598$qE4.312414@juliett.dax.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: 216.26.61.77 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Trace: posting.google.com 1021672096 3830 127.0.0.1 (17 May 2002 21:48:16 GMT) X-Complaints-To: groups-abuse@google.com NNTP-Posting-Date: 17 May 2002 21:48:16 GMT Xref: nntp.service.ohio-state.edu alt.toys.transformers:565109 > "Michael Morbius" wrote: > > > Túrin wrote: > > > > > I told you that when people respond to flames with more flames, > > > it hurts the bystanders who read it. Let me ask you: do you care > > > about that? > > > > Does the person who flamed me in the first place care about the > > bystanders? Do the bystanders care that I've been flamed? > Allow me to rant: Think about this Michael, nobody likes a jerk. You get through life much easier if you refrain from being a jerk. If all it takes is some jerk being verbally abusive to turn you into a jerk, than that really shows how shallow you are. It shows that you really were a jerk just under the surface. Sure, you were provoked, and the person who offended you surely "deserved" to have his own abuseive ways flung back at him, but you are still allowing someone to turn you into an offensive jerk. This retaliatory action has a 95% probability of only further angering the original jerk, who will either a) stew over the fact that you are a jerk, or b) feel inclined to further exacerbate the situation with more verbal abuse ('cause that's the way a jerk thinks), which continues the cycle of hate ad nausium. A few words of truth: Where there is no fuel, the fire goes out, and an answer when mild, turns away rage. Keep in mind we're talking about verbal attacks here, not physical. Whenever you answer someone with politeness and consideration even when they have not offered that to you, you are giving them the benefit of the doubt, taking fuel away from the arguement, and giving an incentive to to them to stop being a jerk. I've experienced many times that if you answer an angry person with mildness, they are taken aback by it, and their anger is cranked down several notches 'cause they don't expect that kind of response. Persons who regularly dish out verbal abuse expect to get some back because it's usually what they get(actually thay erroneously believe they're puting you in your place, but that is seldom the case). If you only show kindness to those who are not jerks, that's not much to brag about. If you show kindness even to those who are verbally abusive it can have the effect of softening the offender's emotions. It can be difficult for even a jerk to be abusive to a nice guy. And you know what? Even the nice guys have bad days and are sometimes the jerk. We've all been the jerk sometime. If you refrain from exacerbating the situation, then the jerk might then reveal that they were actually a nice guy all along, and that he just thought you were a jerk and so was only treating you the way he thought you should be treated. Or at least you offer the jerk the incentive to cease being a jerk. Retaliation only serves to further piss 'em off. I'm not saying that every jerk can be a nice guy, or that everyone will magically have your viewpoint. But you can earn respect. Having flaming pissing contests here on a message board does not garner respect from anyone. It does not teach anybody a lesson. It may even make us stupider for having read them. And finally, it really dosen't make you feel as good as you think it will before you do it. So don't be a jerk. Don't let anyone bait you into beint a jerk. If you refrain from being a jerk, the fighting ends, you may find that your 'adversary' might come to respect your opinion, and you will show yourself to be a mature, respectable poster in the eyes of all the spectators, and man, there are a lot of spectators here. End rant. Please substitute the words 'dick', 'ass', or like word for every instance of the word 'jerk' used above to suit your needs. -Quag