From the Files of Doctor Stomper #1 [*] ANGST: IT'S NOT THAT BAD AFTER ALL copyright 1995 by Dave Van Domelen [*] Not actually written by Doc Stomper, we just found it while digging around in his files for, um, important medical data. Yeah, that's it. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Abstract: It's been long thought that angst is bad for character development and causes premature revamping. But recent studies have shown there to be two distinct types of angst, Low Denisty Angst (LDA) and High Density Angst (HDA). To be brief, LDA = BAD, HDA = GOOD. 1.0 Introduction For years readers have turned their noses up at angst, feeling that too much would be bad for their mental health and cause hardening of the pocketbook. Of course, many of those same readers would also indulge guiltily in angst in secret, binging on X-titles when they thought no one was looking. But thanks to a grant from the DvandOmega-Hardy Foundation, it has been determined that there are actually two kinds of angst, one of which is actually good for you. 2.0 Methodology Graduate students were given X-books and induced to read them until their brains oozed out their ears, then they were interviewed to find the results. This was also repeated using RACC posts on another group of graduate students. A control group was exposed to nothing but Lethargic Comics and issues of What The?! from when it was still good. 13% of subjects required committal to a for-profit mental hospital by the end of the experiment, considered an acceptable lossage of graduate students. 3.0 Results Angst was found to be divided into two distinct subsets. The first is Low Density Angst, or LDA. LDA is light and fluffy and has very little weight or substance, but can fill enormous world balloons. It migrates from the story into the reader's brain where it takes up space that could be better used for other things. Its counterpart is High Density Angst, HDA. HDA carries a great deal of weight behind it and can make a major impression on the reader. It actually helps negate the deleterious effects of LDA by knocking it out of the reader's brain with the sheer force of its arrival. LDA and HDA do have many similar characteristics which have been attributed to generic angst. But it is in how they are generated that determines the main differences. LDA is frequently used as filler, a substitute for actual characterization or plot advancement. It is generated at high speeds with very little requirement of raw materials or talent. A character filled with LDA will at first glance seem three dimensional and real, but is really quite hollow. To use a metaphor, a burrito can be stuffed with cotton balls and look quite big, but the first bite leaves one with a mouth full of fluff. LDA is this fluff. HDA, rather than be a substitute for real characterization, IS real characterization. The angst is generated more slowly and given time to attach to quantities such as meaning and depth. It is then frequently tied to well- crafted story elements and further anchored by more subtle and believable reaction to the angst. By the time a scene with HDA is ready to go out to the readers, the angst may be dripping off the page but at the same time it gives the page real impact. It can satisfy the reader's desire for meaty story elements in a way that LDA cannot. It may not be as filling at first, but it styas with the reader. X-Angst, long considered a separate subset of angst, has actually changed over the years. Originally it was high in HDA and fairly low in LDA, a mixture that gained the X-books their original following. However, over time the proportion of LDA has skyrocketed, leaving many newer X-stories filled with nothing but LDA, the HDA totally gone from the story. Just enough HDA remains in the occasional issue to retain long-time fans, but this cannot last forever as such long-time fans discover superior sources of HDA and leave the fold. 4.0 Conclusions Angst can be made healthy for the readers, but it requires more time and effort to do so. LDA is the unhealthy angst most older readers shun, and as the easier form to make it infests many mainstream comics. Should mainstream books wish to lure back older readers (and there is little evidence they do wish to do so) they would be well advised to raise the HDA content of their books. Until such time as mainstream companies see the wisdom of HDA, discriminating readers are advised to seek out other sources of HDA to counteract any LDA they may be exposed to.